bhrylle

Today, I passed the exam in getting driver’s license student permit. Next month would be my first practical exam in driving four wheels.
          
          One step at a time, Bhrylle. Goodluck! 

I’m losing motivation again

I watched a movie today, it was about a football player who got injured on the night they won the championship game. 
          
          Since then his life changed, became a farmer, dreams were ruined , scholarship to college was gone, crippled leg, and day by day everything is slowly going down. The only thing keeping him sane are his wife and two little girls. 
          
          One day, frost got to his crops—his only hope to get through life and he feels like he couldn’t take it anymore. He tried to unalive himself so his insurance will go to his wife and kids but when he woke up he’s back in high school, quarterback, varsity, teens, his leg  is fine and properly working and everything is back to normal. 
          He had the chance to change everything: the gameplay, the championship game, go to college, leave that small town, become a football star, earn a lot of money, change his fate but the consequences of changing everything will lead to not marrying his wife. 
          
          So that night of the championship game he was scared; contemplating about the decision he’s about to make, the choices he’s about to risk. 
          
          And then right there, the only option he sees is a version of himself playing football in a big stadium with people cheering up for him and a version of himself with a crippled leg but he’s with the girl he loves the most. In the midst of the crowd,  he look for his wife’s face and choose to experience what he had been through just to experience everything together with his wife again. 
          
          When he woke up, he's back in his old life and everyone in town was there to help with his farm, to get through it, and that changes his perspective that he’s not alone in this and when he saw his wife, his family, he realize how lucky he is to have them in this version he chose in exchange of his dreams.
          
          
          

Dad ask me to come with him to Palawan. (Vacation) not business matter
          
          He also signed me up for a driving seminar, he'll be teaching me how to drive a car. (Baby step)
          
          I guess I'm still his one and only 공주 

I needed to move forward from that story but idk how?? 
          
          Sabi nga ni Migo "baby steps"

I finished reading Inizio. I don’t know what to feel. I stared at the wall for I don’t know how long. I didn’t even realize I was bawling my eyes out. The emotional pain from reading “Sa ngalan ng buwan" for the first time came rushing back. I feel so bad for ZIO who was left alone in her universe. Ang sakit lang at the same time diko maintidihan kung anong masakit, kung saan yung masakit? Yung bang naiwan si Zio in her universe with her memories together with Geo? Or yung nagising si Geo at wala na talaga sa totoong buhay yung best friend niyang si Patch? Or di ko matanggap na panaginip lang lahat ng iyon? The ending is so I don’t know, neutral, happy, heartbreaking, bittersweet. 
          
          Di ako makamove on na naiwan si Saint Chai Inizio na nalilito sa mga nararamdaman niya kasi may kulang, kasi may alaala siya with The best version of Mikhail Georgina Alcarez na ngayon ay di na siya kilala. Yes, panaginip lang siya pero tangina bat ako nadurog. Kasi for the first time that day Inizio cried. Paano ako makakamove on nito knowing na SAINT CHAI INIZIO CRIED. Di ko tanggap bakit??? Bakit kailangan niyang umiyak?? Bakit kailangan niyang masaktan??? Bakit??? 

Current favorite music “FACE BY GOT7"

Yesterday, I went out.. to breathe. 
          
          Took the stairs instead of escalators 
          Bought my favorite drink(Fruit frappe)
          Bought my third physical book which cost me a little but I'm happy.
          
          I went for a walk and didn’t even notice I reached 10, 000 steps.
          
          I just realized you only need to be alone to be able to breathe

I reset my phone thinking it would delete all the memories I had with you on my notes. Silly me, it was saved on my g-drives, Icloud, emails. I couldn’t escape this yearning and misery. 
          
          Too weak for that

I just got my license today. Congrats Bhrylle. One step at a time