It hurts. I can't take it. My heart felt like it was being torn apart. My eyes kept burning with the urge to burst into tears. I want to cry, but at the same time I'm also confused about the whole thing. I don't understand anything anymore. What is my fault? Is it wrong that I can't stop doing something that I really can't hold back out of necessity. On the other hand I was confused because I also felt that I was not right either. The place I used to be comfortable to live in, I was confused about what I wanted to be like, how and where I should be, what I should do because whatever I do is always wrong. It hurts. Very very sore. But I also know I'm the cause too. Word "Sorry" doesn't mean anything anymore. I'm always wrong no matter what I do I'll always repeat the same mistakes.
So confused. I don't know what anymore. All I know is that it hurts. I feel like I want to leave it all behind.