araajamindjama

and for the first time, i don't feel sad/angry/frustrated/lonely on christmas...
           
            
            
           
           
           
           
           
            
            
           
          wow.

i guess this is the stress i was asking for.

because the truth is, my love is not meant for young hearts.

i have so many reasons to keep writing. i shouldn't let the opinion of one person stop me from doing the thing that saved my sanity all these years.

i miss writing @araajamindjama. please work w me again.

ought to start mapping my life of the next few chapters out

i think one of the major reasons why i am unable to produce anything here anymore is because my platforms are no longer limited. unlike back in 2021, when all i had were youtube and wattpad. of course, i also had facebook but that was only because i was a student in the pandemic and it was one of the only ways to communicate with people.
          
          i want to do that again. i want to try limiting my platforms again. get another social media detox. i NEED my sanctuary back.

i can't tell you enough just how badly i'd like to write again but consistently fail when i finally have ample time to do so.

it's been a while since i wrote here. to be honest, there hasn't been much reason to write here to begin with. i haven't made an update to any of the novels i've made in the past and the proses i've written in the last two years can barely be considered art---more like a journal entry willingly posted on a public platform. it's not even a journal entry because it's not as detailed as it should be lmfao.
          
          i also don't know why where this self-hatred and self-judgement is coming from. i used to love writing so much. i used to find rest in it, find comfort. now that i somehow feel detached from my ability to write, i guess the passion and love i have for it decided to hide away too.
          
          if i make one more promise, it might be a major reason why i wouldn't be able to come back and write here again. now, i wouldn't want that. i at least want to make sure that although i do not write as often as i used to, i would still be able to come back without feeling guilty over something i wasn't able to pull off the last time i was here.
          
          i guess, i'll just see you next time, mm?
          
          1511-1517

this profile is now unrecognisable from the safe haven it used to be three years ago. followers gone, works are gone, reading lists are empty, inbox is quiet. although the wall is still here, i don't know, maybe i just miss the routine i used to have.
          
          think we'll get to try it again this year? maybe it'll bring me some luck in writing again?