asteroid_unknown

The biggest lie I ever been told was I won’t leave you everyone leaves me even after saying that

asteroid_unknown

I should be asleep but my mind is racing and I want to cry but I’m going to focus on some good things real quick
          
          Me and my current boyfriend have been together for two weeks now after testing the waters of our friendship. I’m happy with him. I’m very happy for once I feel very loved and respected. And on days when I have to wear feminine clothes, he reassures me and tells me I am still a man and he even mentions that he likes when I’m wearing feminine clothes
          
          He helped me book my testosterone appointment so I can finally start testosterone. Hopefully, the next thing that he wants to work on with me is quitting nicotine again, but we’re going to start that once things calm down he’s already helping me not turn to alcohol on hard days.
          
          I’m finally with someone that is very patient with me and very understanding and protective and who also checks to see if I am comfortable before deep conversations start or before any flirting starts especially because I am questioning if I am aroace 
          
          He doesn’t sexualize or judge me for being an age regressor instead, he talks to me when I regress. I finally feel loved for once in my life.

asteroid_unknown

I hope this is the final part of everything but in this I’m going to talk about how even someone who I had distance with noticed what was going on without even talking to me
          
          My current boyfriend and I were not talking, even though we were really good friends we were not talking for a little bit during that time the night I broke up with my ex I went into my discord server, and I said I finally broke up with him and not even five minutes after I said that in my discord server, he sent me a message and we started talking for a long time. We eventually ended up on call and I do not like crying around friends or where friends can hear. I cried for an hour straight, just talking about everything that happened and he told me that he was suspecting exploitation he is currently helping me through all of this he gave me the courage to finally block my ex which I’m really happy for and I really appreciate he also reaches out when he feels like something is off. I still have panic attacks from everything that happened, which he helps me with those, even though we are eight hours away from each other. He has been here for me on the hardest days which these past few months have been the hardest on me. He even helped me figure out how to get an appointment to start testosterone.

asteroid_unknown

Continuing from my last few posts
          
          He kept trying to manipulate and guilt trip me back into the relationship, which was my final reason to block him, which I did
          Another thing he kept doing is he knows that I don’t like taking photos with random people and I had some crazy interactions with fans multiple times like I would be asked to take a photo with someone and I would be like no thank you I am not comfortable with that and those same people would still keep pressuring me in. I even had to deal with some creepy men and when I told him about it, he said, just grow up and take the photo and basically told me that I need to think about how this will affect him.
          He also would get mad after we broke up. He would get mad when he feels like I’m in another relationship when he was hooking up with other people after we broke up.
          He also kept milking our break up for views, and he even said that we were still together when people asked if we were even after I said no we were also invited onto a podcast which I refuse to go, but he basically said that we would go
          He has also tried to turn other friends of mine against me because my friends were pointing out how the whole situation is exploitative and wrong

asteroid_unknown

Here are some things that he has done
          
          When there were hate comments on the videos, he knew that I struggle severely with myself image, and my body he straight up, read all of the hateful comments to me which those comments mostly were straight up body shaming, which made my self image issues worse I even started restricting meals heavily for a short period of time
          Another thing is refusing to compensate me, and also refusing to delete the videos, even though we agreed that they would be deleted if I felt uncomfortable
          And another thing he did was he knows that I’m trans and he said that he supports it, but he said that he doesn’t want to use he/him for me and still wanted me to dress like a goth girlfriend around him he even told me that I’m not too medically or surgically transition and he has misgendered me so many times even when talking to my friends he even called me stupid when talking to my friends after we broke up

asteroid_unknown

Back in May me and my now ex went viral on TikTok and Instagram. I am unfortunately known as the viral blue hair and raccoon tail hair discord kitten I don’t want to be known as that and we agreed before we made the skit series. We agreed that if I start to feel uncomfortable and want the videos taken down, they would be removed, but the fame got to him and he refused to remove them because he was also profiting off of them, which I got no compensation at all and he explicitly told me I would not be compensated because I would just spend my compensation on stuff that I like and we did not have completely similar interests