|| VENT ||
i'm so very sorry guys, i know i've been offline for a while now, and i want to say for it's my mental health, but, i don't even know if it's true or if i'm just saying that to convince myself that i'm a good person.
i say that i'll do something but then just forget, i forget a lot of things, sometimes i can't even remember the names of my friends, i've thought about this for a while.
i've decided to just quit, my mental health isn't getting any better, just getting worse actually, and i can't even bring myself to message a real person for one goddamn time.
i crave to talk to people but i'm too much of coward to even turn on my notifications on my groupchats cause i know i'd be conditioned to talk, and that scares me.
lately, i can't even be in front of many people without crying, and that's a sign that something is wrong. that something is wrong with me, i've been sleeping less and less, and just in general everything has been shitty. i'd say i need a break, but then i'd just be more selfish than before. i can't catch a break, i have exams and tests every week, i can't even take care of myself, cause i'd be taking care of the person i hate most. and now, this is my goodbye note to all of you, to all of my followers, my friends.
most of you have been here from the start, and i thank you for that, i just wish i could have repayed that. i'm not a good person, and i need to realize that no matter what i do or how you guys see me, i always will be just that. A bad person that can only take but not give.
just the moment i think i'm better, i'm the same as before. i stay awake at night, thinking just how i could have chosen a better path, but, i can't change that. so, goodbye, for the one last time, and goodnight.
my demons are winning the battle, but i'm not going to burden you guys any longer.
