athyeleanor
I wish I can cry for hours but I can't even do it for thirty minutes.
athyeleanor
athyeleanor
Don't make people feel stupid. If they don't understand, you explain it. Don't be such a jerk trying to make people feel down about it then not even trying to make them understand. If you think more with that big brain of yours, you must have understand why people don't get what you're saying. Probably because of confusing information or something.
Ergh maybe you are so smart you can't even think beyond your ego.
athyeleanor
Whatever is happening right now makes me think do I really love writing or I just don't have anything that can keep me busy?
Because I feel like I don't have it in me to write anymore. As if that girl who likes writing has long gone. Has been buried deep inside of me, it just disappear.
I do like to write, only about my feelings. But if it's a story, I don't think I can anymore. I feel so lost, even reading my those stories I've written can't make me feel anything like back then.
athyeleanor
@hrknnse kann susah betul mau jumpa jalan keluar HAHAHA aku pun nda tau lah ni apa ubatnya. Adakah kita akan berpegang kepada time will heal kahkahkah
hrknnse
@athyeleanor aa sama bah kita (ToT) terasa lost mahu menulis padahal suka menulis. mungkin jadi begini kerana terbeban masalah assignment HAHA stress barangkali. tapi nda mungkin. sepatutnya jika itu hobi, selalu buat. tapo ini lost bah. mcm mana mahu ubat ini zaf? ( ；∀；)
athyeleanor
But honestly, at the end of the day I'll always be alone because people seem to prioritize their friend group. And I'm here not having any friend that I'm really close with yet. There are actually some people who got the same fate as me, though my shyness always make my situation worse.
Feels pretty lonely. I know how to interact with others but if they don't give me the same energy, I'm just gonna overthink it. I just hope I don't snap and go insane because of this.
athyeleanor
@hrknnse cedihhh! Sampai hatinya nda reply chat aisyku yang cumil ni! Percayalah, it's her loss sebab abaikan kawan yang baik macam kamu! Memanglah dia ada hak untuk cut off orang tapi kalau jenis lupa kawan ni ergh sukar dimaafkan sebab pernah susah senang bersama. (/･ω･(-ω-) Apapun thank youu cayunk. Sure sure nanti kalau rasa macam mau menggedik dan merepek, aku akan mesej ex kucing kesayangan ni HAHAHA jadi bulih menemani antara satu sama lain. You are the best aisyku! You are one of the bestest, cutest, prettiest thing that ever happened in my life! (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞
hrknnse
@athyeleanor zaf ( *´・ω)/(；д； ) situasi kita serupa. mahu tegur tapi malu. kawan rapat pula bila chat nda reply sudah sbb ada kawan lain. lonely juga bah hidupku HAHA nda apa zaf. si ex kucing ini selalu ada bersama mu. jika ada apa² mahu dikongsi, mahu dicerita atau mahu merapu bulih jak mesej si ex kucing ini. sbb dia pun lonely. bilang jak. ex kucing ini sentiasa proactive dan sportrim. HAHAH dia bulih terbang pergi padamu. dlm mimpilah tapi sbb jauh huhu. pointnya disini, kasi mesej jak samaku jika kamu rasa lonely atau tidak. akan ku ada sentiasa. youre my best, cute and pretty friend (´▽｀*)
athyeleanor
It's weird. How I need to take care of someone else's daughter while me myself isn't that good in taking care of my well-being. Exhausting.
athyeleanor
I'm not really busy. I actually have time to update anything here but I'm too busy spending my energy to adapt with the new environment so I don't know when will I start being active here again.
athyeleanor
And I've been dissociating like crazy HAHAHAH I don't feel my emotions, keep distracting myself so my feelings won't drain me. It's not healthy but what can I do. All that left in me is to survive this degree life
athyeleanor
Dalam gelap yang tak berpenghujung itu, aku panjangkan tangan untuk mencapai secebis cahaya untuk menyuluh lorong yang bakal dilalui.
Namun rasa gelisah seolah membutakan mata sehingga kini, aku masih tak jumpa apa yang dicari.
athyeleanor
Rasa sendiri dan sunyi. Padahal banyak jiwa-jiwa yang sedang menemani, bersama suara-suara dari kanan dan kiri. Tapi masih juga hati ini bagai merintih perit mahukan sesuatu yang lebih bererti.
Aku rasa tidak layak ada di situ. Seolah kewujudan aku hanya berada di sudut-sudut yang tak kelihatan- mereka sedang ketawa dan kepala aku pula membawa aku pergi jauh dari tempat berdiri.
Dan jika mereka cuba menyentuh, mungkin aku akan terus rapuh lalu menghilang.
athyeleanor
Best jadi lelaki senang jak dapat kawan. Ya Allah semoga perempuan ini jadi extrovert dalam keadaan yang baik agar dia menjadi lebih baik! Aamiin
athyeleanor
Bila mau describe mata orang tu bersinar kan, aku mesti cuma terfikir 'seakan ibu bapanya telah mencuri bintang dari langit' HAHAHA
It could be a good way to compliment someone actually.
"Did your parents steal a couple of stars on the sky to put it in your eyes?"