author1004

So... Rant coming up there... I don't want you guys to spend time on this, it's just useless sadfishing. Better if you ignore it...
          	
          	I know being obsessed is wrong. I know I should be studying more and following my favourite celebs less. But I don't think my parents understand that it's not just an obsession.
          	Today, my mom compared me to my AMRY sister, whom I'm kind of close with. She's a few years my senior, and an ARMY. But according to my mom, SHE'S not as 'obsessed' with BTS as I am. She's 'keeping herself in check', she 'knows her limits', and I don't. I got a lecture that I've got to get myself together and score better, because 93% is unacceptable from someone like me, who scored 98% up until elementary school. And that I should be controlling myself and not wasting time on being an ARMY.
          	
          	Life's not supposed to be easy. But once,.just once, can I ask God - Why isn't being perfect easy? Because that's what my.parents wanna see. A perfect student. A perfect person. So why is it hard to BE PERFECT?
          	Why am I crying in guilt, because I'm not perfect? Why am I punishing myself by not drinking water for 48 hrs, all because I didn't score as good as my parents wanted me to?
          	Why is it so hard?

anuvabhardwaj

@author1004 u are most perfect and the most awesome person, i have ever known.....life is never easy , so just be the way you are , and try your best to the person that YOU want to be in future, not what others want you to be like ....and i remember , i am always by your side matter what !!!
Reply

Honeyruh

this message may be offensive
@author1004 okay gurl. no offence but fuck em. u are amazing all on your own and i cannot stress this enough YOU ARE LITERALLY THE MOST PERFECT PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. I understand first hand how ur feeling. And quite literally if I scored 98% then i had a hurricane coming. You know what you could do? Keep being you. Love what you love and remember that you have us by your side forever. I love you <33
Reply

author1004

@XxBlueShimmerSquadxX Oh god, that's familiar. Thank you for the advice (and don't feel sorry for ranting 'about yourself') <3333333
          	  And you're so amazing :') <3333
Reply

adropofhumanity

a token of kindness [ 18th july 2023 ] 
          
          insecure poems, confident aches; inspired decades yet everyday a death. stretching silences, concrete words; homes that melt and walls that echo. floating feet, rotten flowers; waves that pause in an ocean that seamlessly flows. 
          
          fluttering thoughts, fiddling feelings; coloured mouths and disappearing promises. hibernating lights and travelling darknesses; lingering lilacs and luminescent shadows. 
          
          minds of pearls, mouths of venom; do not lose by playing to their strengths. corridors of history, weaponsied love; transient nor malleable. fragile loneliness, screaming insecurities;  not every sunset has to be colourful. 
          
          sun of rain, thunders of frustration; mornings like amnesia, cloudless burdens. midday pride, repentance heavy; grief stricken victories, blackbird joys. mansions of footsteps, tears of dreams; we are all graves carrying the dying spark of life in us. 
           #adropofhumanity 

adropofhumanity

a small token of kindness [ 20th february 2023  ] 
          
          blistering hope and disrupted forces, stomach of dirt and howling cresses; scraping blossoms and sunken springs. hollowed harvests, assaulted reaps; jeopardised desires and slivering skies. 
          
          mismatched woods and stolen petals; metaphorical gentleness and articulated coherence. dripping hearts, compendium ashes; ornate gale, weathered pages. 
          
          vintage eyes and handwritten libraries, fictional moon and escaped fantasies. inspiring nostalgia, doubtful guqin; poisonous inquiry, burial of heaven. vulnerability guarded, vindictive portraits; a monster of human needs, a devil of emotions. 
          
          brush-wood sprains and sinister autumns; stubborn walls and bittersweet burns. fluid memories, flamed nerves; familiar souvenirs,  a winter fued. a sadness of sharpness, bitter home in throat; caress the storms just as sadness has caressed tired norms. 
           #adropofhumanity

adropofhumanity

a small token of kindness [ 28th january 2023 ] 
          
          heart that loves waters of wrinkles, a grave that loves a man of death and bones;  years of cold and hours of a backyard mirrors. floods of decades, hormones of violence; peace of unfamiliarity, an autumn of heart ache. 
          
          a jam of blue as a fight of love, a poet centuries old lurking in the present; lemons and neighbours, peaches and lungs. sins sacred before mercy, broken palms and roads of birth; sunset embroidered with veins, years fossilised with ricochet pain. 
          
          frosted letters, casual accents; love of bruised knuckles, a sip of sacred venoms. fingers of declaration, windshield dust; a lump of liability, a suffocated drink of laughter. an island where a soul sinks, oceans where the bodies bath; a thread of silk that cuts like glass. 
          
          evaporated pressure, fiery torrents; soul frozen and waltz of wakefulness. meadow of dawn, a canopy of a pleaide; frothing yearns and rippling reasons. death so close, yet addressed as cold; not every flower can be sweet, not every good heart can have enough honey. 
           #adropofhumanity 

adropofhumanity

a small token of kindness ( 21st january 2023 ) 
          
          bruised october, champagne bread; weeping permissions and tightened braids. a mother of brass, windows of pages; ebbs of midnight, divided miseries. 
          
          copper sprain, malachite oxygen; birds of meetings, broken silences. venn of the woods, the wind and the windpipe; foreign vowels, submerged wrinkles. wet crayons, scents of blue; crisp metaphors and pigeon hues. 
          
          palms of desserts, midnight sober; fire that slips, a womb of sonnets. lemonade poems, an annihilating waist; casual grave, a whisper of conclusions. a poet of confessions, a sky of sin; sacred rain, storm antique. 
          
          blurry opals and cigarette soliloquies; swaying septum and a bouquet of tattood ribs. spine of butter, vinegar patio; breastbone shelter, cronus love. white doorstep, a welcome ghost; trees forget leaves, winter shrinks bones. 
           #adropofhumanity 

adropofhumanity

a small token of kindness (15th january 2023) 
          
          late afternoon intoxications, silver bruises of the lake; half alive lilies and coquelicot verses. swimming decembers and stiff legged waters, crimson sounds and rain of sunflowers. sleep a candle, a shiver of cold winter; a demon merely sleeps to haunt an angel. 
          
          bellies of ocean, onomatopoeia based; bread like canine, haunting kestrel. spirits of terracottas, moulded with eruptions; lune of earth, scabbed with praise. residue of potency, river rock artichokes; penalty like quartz, merciless joy. 
          
          words of water, rituals of heart; primrose like feet, convenants of coneflower. woman of sandalwood, blood thinner than fluid; cushion and confusion an imploding reflections. banishing whispers, solitary shrouds; beaded intonations, burdened sabbath. 
          
          exigent rule of rhythm, an autumn womb; ancient pupils, latticed spirit. camellia hair, noor of protection; cardamom poems, smile of earth. sweet blues, a grapefruit toppled; strangers known, friends estranged. 
          
          poised separation, a moon of a thousand partings; a twilight of veiling curls, afternoon crescent.  confessions tasteless, dawn like wine; passing heavens, inwoven visage. some spines unending, nay, starless and bitter like tender hope. the sky cries, the earth is blinded by its tears;  when one cries the other hears. 
           #adropofhumanity 

adropofhumanity

a small token of kindness (10th january 2023) 
          
          
          collapsed gravity, standing time;  a future unattended, a past repeated. crinkled boats, suffering ink wells; where words end, feelings begin. snow from moon, smudges that sting; the torment of blood a maze refined. 
          
          tree of pain, rehearsed branches of hope; frolicking miracle, a shadow of the banished. cozen jasmine, 
          mutable vases; toes wild, lambent homelessness. mineral cheeks, kiss of citrus; you are fire with flames that hug. 
          
          a galaxy of maple lakes, a century of strings; kite of contact, a warm pendulum. inherent catapult, beauty a candle flicker; an archipelago of petals, a bee of sedation.  tinsels of wisteria, needles of kin; vermillion heaven, welcoming hell. 
          
          frozen spring, olive bricks; swings glaucous, pomegranate unhealthy. conifer vigilant, love that condenses; taj mahal of twilight, a philocalist spirit. never you open before the awaken, a heart that carries orchids; bloom before the broken, the ones who do not know burial. 
           #adropofhumanity 
          
          [ if you wish to read an explanation for this token, please grace my message board with your honoured presence. i assure you it shall be worth your time (: ] 
          

adropofhumanity

a small token of kindness (05th january 2023) 
          
          rain of refinement, earth of bloodshed; tropospheric rocks and primitive nightshade.  a seizure of clairvoyance, a mask of a stone; a memory loosened, a breath of disease. harm catapulted, catastrophic love; a wound transparent, blood a pinch of sea salt. 
          
          a pomegranate churlish, a caterpillar soft and green; firelight shells,  evening that murmurs fantasies. mourn the bell, the bell of heroism; creative feathers, heart of fresh fabric. tales of clouds, tales of uterus; a fallible dare, a poetic sickness. 
          
          sun sealed moon, wrapped, unwrapped; slip like a streamlet of smoke, a sharpness that floats. pulse that radiates, sleet that breathes; wings of bones, emotions an augury. autumn of balance, florid tinders; quietus fingertips, life an organ buzzing. 
          
          warped pollen, petals a haze; clouded blooms and lips of scents. ballrooms of solitude, chandeliers of pianos; what a song like that of feet tapping against measured slivers. what is fire hurts not itself but others, as the sun that burns its earth, as the moon tender upon eyes but hurts its heart the most. 
           #adropofhumanity 

adropofhumanity

a small token token kindness (01st january 2023)  
          
          steadfast sunsets, crooked mornings; lake a crowd of gleaming mournings. lyrics that burn, bones hopeless; tongue of wind, it rarely stays. a future of magma, temple and cityscape; humans among humans, a home bereft. 
          
          a birth that bleeds, a firmament of fleeting wisps; feet smelling of earth, lips a facade, what we appreciate. filigree like rain, a blush of darker reign; summer distorted, desert a burning lace. panaroma of a kaleidoscope, a bard like grackle; pits of doubt and a park of frission. 
          
          jardin de tuileries, seeds of breezes; memory endearments and waves of freedom. satin scents, devoted petals; barricaded branches and canvas of dripping enchantments. convivial music, lily trenchants; reflective denouements, fulgent waterfalls of wisterias. 
          
          violent fears, chalices of secrets; numbing encouragements,  frosted vanilla. oscillating mountains, cloved cessations; tainted vicolos, bricks of dried redolences. parasols of petrichor, labyrinth of moonflowers; tower of desire, rose precipices. keep a smile, with flowers divine; they grow not on well made roads but through the rough womb of mother earth. 
           #adropofhumanity 

adropofhumanity

a small token of kindness (25th december 2022) 
          
          a seed sowed into a breast dipped in mellow, an orbit marked by nectar. drenched in sap, the blood of war, lights stiff and crumbs dripping wet. allow pines to wither, borrow clouds from the whispers of the weather; a shadow grieves, a sky dies. 
          
          a tongue that speaks, gravity that pulls; too much force, and brush strokes harden. a sliver of forest, a human laugh; blends through twilight, an ecosystem forms. basswood power, eroding heads; what brings pride carries with it the ability to decay. 
          
          blessed roots and fiddled minds; if the beginnings are profound, evil least lasts. ripples and strands, glass windows with scars; agoraphobia is home to those who have burnt. streamlets of wind, the moon that laughs; the world is healthy only if it lasts. 
          
          heterogenous planets, masculine strength; there is destruction with misconstrued judgments. harboured reflections and petals of sysirinchium; mirrors break everyday with invisible distortions. never assume safety stays, house as help; the devil preys for its victims in the morning rays. 
           #adropofhumanity 

adropofhumanity

a small token of kindness (22nd december 2022) 
          
          grasp the knuckles, hold fear like gold; there is passion in black, there is a spectrum of truth in all thunders. process the baubles of celebrations tenderly, venture early through mishaps terrible; where one sorrow settles, another blossoms. 
          
          track the flames of joy and homes of tender buttresses; enjoy tunnelling paths like worms, enjoy the sport of fulgence. a rainbow of paroxysms,  with fleeting edges of juvenile feathers; two rights rarely understand one another. 
          
          distinguish snow between its home and the second, what is consumed by it is eaten by another. forge the candelabrum, halt at fatal essences; where a mind breeds heartbeats like cactus water. 
          
          swept by silence, kept by roars; what is a mind then except for a fragment of frosted tomorrow? an envelope ensconced like an island dipped in fever, carriage of blood melted in a tide of camphor. it is rough, it is a battle; what is any weapon inside a cave, a cave of darkness?  
           #adropofhumanity