i got ill with psychosis and lied about having a disorder while i was mentally ill. i lied while in a very long phase of being stressed and my life falling apart.
i wont get into some of the things that happened but to briefly summarise, i was delusional, hallucinating, overworked, not eating, not sleeping, and worried to death about a close loved one being ill. it made the psychosis bad. I couldn't cope with life.
i, in the past, have apologised to those i lied to. some forgave me, some didn't. and that's ok and valid. i punished myself profusely for over a year/two years (ever since i got well enough mentally to realize what I'd done). I know how bad it was to fake a disorder. and I have beat myself up about it a lot.
I still am struggling a lot with feeling like I'm evil or a bad person, but my therapist and some other mental health professionals I now get helped by tell me that I can't blame myself as much as I do because I was very unwell and not thinking how I normally would.
I want to formally apologise to everyone. I'm truly sorry for how i acted while ill.
I honestly never did it to hurt anyone. i didnt have bad intentions. but i still deceived people online.
I won't be using this account, but I may change the theme of the account because this one reminds me of the old/bad times. I know it wont change much, but still.
