Wow.
It's been so long. I don't even know where to start. This all feels so surreal.
I'm actually back. I'm actually, officially, 100% back.
To everyone who has tried to contact me, I am so, so deeply sorry. I lost my password, and to make matters worse, I lost access to the email linked to that account so I was unable to reset my password. For years. By some miracle I managed to convince a customer service rep that this account was mine, and so here I am.
So much has changed.
So many of you are gone. I checked my inbox and I'm heartbroken. I don't know how to find you guys. Where to find you guys. And I know this sounds terrible, but I don't even remember some of you. How can I justify that...? How can I call myself a friend if I don't even remember you?
All I can say is that it's been...very rough. I've forgotten so much. As if everything was a dream, or a nightmare. Please don't hold it against me if I've forgotten; I love you all. I truly do. I just...after everything that's happened, my memory has failed me.
This is...strange. The pure ecstasy of finally recovering a part of me that I had thought I had permanently lost has faded into heartache. Some of you were in as much pain as I was, and now you're gone, and I don't know what's happened to you. I'm so, so sorry. I've failed you as a friend. I can never repay what you all have done for me, and now I'll never be able to make it right.
If you see this. If any of you see this, please, PLEASE reach out to me. For those of you who still have accounts, I'll leave you a message. For those of you who don't, if you ever see this, please just know that I love you. That you have always been in my thoughts. That if you ever come back, I'll be here. I promise.
I am back. For good. I fully intend to make this account blossom with the potential I know it has. I don't know if I'll continue my old works, but there will definitely be new ones.
I have so much to say, but I'll save that for later.
Nadia
