so... I've been reading your first book and although I see the potential, I feel like you lost track of a few things. You repeat things a lot. Sometimes it feels like you jump back. The timeline isn't clear. One moment the BFF knows who her crush is a day later she doesn't... In a story your characters have an arc to forfill. But if it stalls then the story doesn't flow like it could. Instead of doing day by day progression you could sometimes just let your character reflect on what happend. Like the highlights of the week... Her deadlines for uni are always there but we as readers have no idea of she is doing good or failing. Your characters have a lot of depth and potential but you don't let it shine enough. Also try and imagin that if you were 16, would you think you need a babysitter? This could explain why the eldest daughter is put of a bit...
I realise that you are finnished with it. But when I post something I like feedback and reactions. Because it can make what I write better. So because you don't have a lot of reactions. I wanted to give you this. If you don't like it, that's fine. But if you do or like more feedback... Just let me know.
