(1) you a lucky ass bitch if my mean ass likes you.
(2) if you are racist get the fuck off of my profile.
(3) if you are homophobic, kiss my ass and my anus.
(4) i reserve the right to evoke all 'daddy' claims that i may issue to a character at any given point in a story.
(5) don't give me alcohol, because i'll just make a complete spectacle of myself.

✔ and remember, if you can't love yourself, then how in hell are you gonna love somebody else? can i get an amen? now, sashay away.