sad but rad

and why are drugs so fucking amazing?

why does gender matter? and why am i so bad at commitment and scared of being relied on. and why are people pressured to define their sexuality. the closest i come to definition is gay, but am i? what defines gay? i don't what a relationship, just someone to cuddle and be exclusive with. but isn't that a relationship ship? and why is sex so gross in practice. and why do people suck so fucking bad? and why is fire so mesmerizing? and why am i so obsessed with the ocean and the human brain? and why do i have such bad trust issues? and why am i so hot and cold with people? and why does the one person i want attention from never talk to me. and why would i die for my dog? he cant even talk. and why is pain comforting. and why does the nighttime feel like my friend? 

Hi❤