@AbidFM do you think you don't deserve it? it is your opinion and I fully respect it. but I think you rightly deserve it, and you deserve much more. it's a point of view. but who am I to write to you what to do? in the past, I also thought I didn't deserve much. my childhood is similar to yours, with only small variations. I have three basic things left of my childhood, the reflex of fear when someone unlocks the front door, a high degree of pain tolerance and no self-esteem ... all my life I have tried to prove to everyone that I also have some value and that I can do something ... well I found that no one cares ... only my efforts hurt me and my children ... that's why I started doing something for myself and especially for my two children four years ago. it's not easy at all, such a change. all my life I've been used to doing something just for others and nothing for myself, now I want to do it the other way around ... it's not easy to change myself, stop responding to others, to their demands and comments ... it still hurts , if someone criticizes my work, life or raising children ... but I no longer react to the outside, I keep my reactions to myself ... I can't see and hear ... many people have stopped having fun digging into me so much ... because they didn't have my reaction ... nor do they deserve my reaction, either positive or negative ...
