meghan;

I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. 

I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending to be happy and putting that fake smile on my face. I'm tired of cracking jokes whenever I feel like I'm about to drown in my puddle of tears. I'm tired of living in other people's shadows and being told that I'm a disappointment. I'm tired of not being good enough even though I try my best. I'm tired of my friends telling me that they love me and care but in reality they don't give a fuck about me. I'm tired of my family doing so much for me, yet not bothering to try to understand who I really am. I'm tired of being known as a goody-goody and a snitch and the ugly girl and the crazy girl with depression and the obnoxious chick and the dumb blond. I'm tired of trying to live just because no one wants wants to lose a family member or a friend to suicide. I just want to be done. I wish I would've never been born... There would've been so much shit that would've never happened if I wasn't alive. 
          
          All the love, -M

I hurt.

he tells me he loves me and wants to be with me forever yet it's obvious that he doesn't give a shit about my feelings or anything related to me

does he even love me? or is this all just a fucking joke. 

OMG YOU GUYS! It's been SO long! 
          
          I'm so sorry I haven't been updating. I know I keep saying that I'm going to, but I haven't in months. Though I have received AMAZING feedback from people about my book, I have also gotten some negative comments about it, saying that it is too triggering (which is totally understandable). If you guys would like, I could remove some of the more graphic scenes, however I would like to keep them because I think it shows the raw and real parts of depression and suicide. But your happiness and well being is important to me and I respect that! 
          
          Also, I've gotten MANY messages asking me if HHLS is based on a true story, particularly if it's based on my life story. It is 90% fiction; I have depression and anxiety disorders and some of the experiences that Saige has gone through I have gone through, but I would not like to share which ones. The story line is completely made up. 
          
          Thank you so much for your comments, follows, and understanding! I appreciate each and everyone of you so much <3 
          
          I love you! 
          -Meg

hey guys! 
          I'm sorry for not writing as much as I promised; I always have so much going on, but once I have a break I'll be sure to write as much as I can :) and since I haven't written in a while, maybe reread a couple of my chapters for a refresher? 
          also, it would mean SO much to me if you all could give me a shoutout or recruit some more followers for me? I've lost a couple recently and it's probably because of my lack in activity, but I am trying to stay active as much as I can! and if I can do anything to help you guys out, please be sure to let me know! 
          I am praying for each and every one of you readers and I hope you all are hanging in there! I hope you were able to smile today and that you'll be able to smile tomorrow :) 
          best wishes<3 
          -meg

keep smiling even on the no-zoloft days :) 

you know you're in love when your special person does the thing you've dreamed of doing since you were a little kid but you're not envious at all, you're over the moon with joy. ❤️

if I die someday, it's going to be because of suicide. maybe tomorrow, or maybe in 20 years.