bi_weirdo_398
Being an eyekon is not for the weak y'alls...
bi_weirdo_398
bi_weirdo_398
Rest in Peace to our queen of country music, Dolly Parton...
Sending love and condolences to her family and fans...
bi_weirdo_398
"Felt for her what I should've felt at church"
Ouch.
bi_weirdo_398
I WANT A GFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF SO BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
I WANT CUDDLESSSSSSS
I WANT KISSSSSESSSSSSS
I WANT A GFFFFFFFFFFF
SOMEBODY GET ME A GF PLEASE
I WANNA FEEL LOVED
I WANT SOMEONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME AHHHHHHH
I WANT TO BE CARED FOR
I YEARN FOR A GF YOUR HONOURRRRRRRRR
I'M GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
bi_weirdo_398
this message may be
offensive
@duckie_da_duck well lemme tell you about how I was one of the biggest homophobe ever before I realized I liked girls, like and EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA LARGE homophobe lol...like I hated their guts and always thought they was sinning and shit...and now I'm the gayest bisexual alive...I think it's just the mindset that we are raised with, we're thought from childhood that it is a sin and it's not only morally but also spiritually wrong...and that's one of the many reasons behind why people (like me) who are thought this always have that internalized homophobia within them, no matter how hard they try to shake it off it always sticks to them... Yeah ik, but the saddest thing is I was clean for more then a year and half, yes I had the thoughts to hurt myself but I never acted on them again...untill now ofc... Ughh never ever was a big fan of religious camps and never will be, they somehow make me question my religious beliefs even more then I usually do... Yayyyyyyyy so proud of you for joining that marching band love<3 Now study hard and become the valedictorian that ik lives within you<3 (and even if you don't I'd still you just the same<3) ME TOOOOOOOO!!! lol sometimes I think i just want a gf because I want to be loved unconditionally... But honestly speaking it's good that I don't have one now, because as much as I'd love to have, we are both aware of the fact that I'm neither emotionally nor mentally ready to be in a relationship rn...
bi_weirdo_398
@Oggieboogie3000 yeah I'm fine dw (well maybe not now but I'll be fine eventually) Hope you're doing amazing too boo<3
duckie_da_duck
@bi_weirdo_398 Thank you very much! It's kind of funny because she used to be homophobic and transphobic, then just transphobic, and now she watches bakudeku content on the daily and likes girls. It makes it easier for us to talk though, knowing there's nothing we have to skip around, she was hiding the bakudeku from me for a while. Healing isn't linear. The important thing is that you are making and effort and want to improve yourself. I would recommend trying to force yourself to cry. I reread all of The Summer You Were There a few days ago and sobbed on my couch, and that was just for fun, and it made me feel better after. I'm pretty sure crying releases happy hormones or something too. It's just good to let your emotions out in general. Summer was kind of boring, I made friends at church camp, even if I'm kind of surface-level with them because... well, church camp. Also, I recently accidentally stumbled on a website called ventscape. It's not really my thing, but if you ever wanna talk to some anon internet people, you might wanna check that page out and see if that's helpful for you. Other than all that, I joined marching band, so I can breathe when I go up stairs. Yippee. Anyways, I hope you eventually get the girlfriend you so yearn for.
bi_weirdo_398
RIP Hayden Panettiere...
(And I'm sorry for the depressing message below this one, I'm just in one of those moods lol)
bi_weirdo_398
@R4iny4rts hurts alot tbh, she was so young and I feel so bad for her daughters...
R4iny4rts
@bi_weirdo_398 i saw someone on twitter post a clip of her character, Kirby, and Tara in Scream 6 and their caption was just the broken heart emoji and i didnt know what it meant at first. but now ik...
bi_weirdo_398
TW: SA, Forced kissing...
I've always heard that it's not all men, but in my case it always was one...
It's not all men, but it was a man who forcefully kissed me when he "helped" me cross the road to my home in the rain when I was 6...he tried to put his tongue in my mouth too...
It's not all men, but it was a man who sat me on his lap and touched me in places you do not touch an 8 year old...
It's not all men, but it was a man who forced his mouth onto mine several times when I was 10...and mind you he was my dad's own cousin, one that I would call uncle...
It's not all men, but it was a man, who on the pretence of standing behind me, and tried to grope my breasts when I was 11...while my mother was standing in his shop looking at the things...
It's not all men, but it was a man who kissed me on the cheek halfway touching his lips to mine when I was 12...and mind you I did not even know him...
It's not all men, but it was a man who stroked himself infront of 13 year old me, looking me straight in the eye as he did so and followed me home...teenage me ran like her life depended on it...because it did...
It's not all men, but it was a man who chased me and my aunt while we went to our local grocery store, and we had to change routes several times...he followed us to our home and smirked as he did so...I was 19 and my aunt 46...(this happened just a few months ago)...
It's not all men, but it was a man who first hit me when I was just 6 months old, and the latest one just a month ago...yes peeps my very own "father"...
Oggieboogie3000
@bi_weirdo_398 I don’t know….but I feel bad for the younger boys who get taken advantage of too. But as a girl it’s way harder in terms of things like SA and abuse cause it’s way harder to fend and fight for ourselves
bi_weirdo_398
@bi_weirdo_398 so I can't help but ask if it's not all men, then why is it ALWAYS a man?
bi_weirdo_398
So recently I have been having this idea about publishing a book in my drafts called as "the thoughts of a young lady"...its nothing much honestly speaking and it might not be one of my brightest ideas, it's just a collection of my diary entries, where I write all of my thoughts (no matter how dark)...
Ik most of you might be confused as to why I wanna do this in the first place and put something so private out into the public...its just that as someone who's battled internal religious homophobia, depression, anxiety (you name it) and understands what it's like to be a teen, I wanna publish these so you guys out there can know that you're not alone and that (to some extent) I understand and no matter how alone you feel (even if it's behind a screen) I'm still here for you...
So I'm asking for y'alls opinion, should I or should I not?
duckie_da_duck
@bi_weirdo_398 I don't see why not, I do something similar on an anon ao3, and it seems to be a fairly common form of self-expression. There's nothing wrong with it. Although, if there is sensitive content, I do think you might want to think it through because people tend to report for safety and accounts get suspended. It's a wonderful idea and is ultimately your decision.
bi_weirdo_398
Atp I've really had enough I just wish that HxG would give us a clear answer about everything's that's going on...I'm just so confused and hurt, one day we have all the hope in the world and the next day it's just completely shattered into smithereens...it's so tiring waiting and waiting for an answer despite knowing the fact that you won't get any...we all agree with the fact that it's not a normal hiatus...its putting all the eyekons into a dilemma that's nothing but weird and even more confusing...I hate how they're using Sophia as damage control and making all the hate go towards her...I feel bad for the other members who aren't getting credit for their hard work and talent, because almost each and every eyekon is worried about Manon and tbh I don't blame them...it's weird and depressing how this whole thing is being treated...I hate how Manon and the girls are being blamed for stuff that is not in their hands...I want her to come back and I'm auree many of you do too...I hate to say this but I'm not even.excited about the movie because I'm scared there'll be either no mention of Manon or they'll say something that'll completely break my heart...and I hate how people are saying that this is a PR stunt y'alls...I don't understand her friends either because they're not helping the situation...Lexie leaving isn't helping much either, except for the fact that since they released a statement about her departure and no such statement for Manon mean that there's still hope she's a part of the group...seeing her in the trailer really warmed my heart but there was no separate interview of her...very confusing...
I'm sorry for the rant but I hope you understand that I had to cause it was literally eating me alive
bi_weirdo_398
@Oggieboogie3000 yep I agree<3
Oggieboogie3000
@bi_weirdo_398 legit but we still have to appreciate the girls work and just hope she comes back
bi_weirdo_398
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offensive
@Oggieboogie3000 this is EXACTLY what I mean when I say PR stunt, but if if it is then it's not helping in the way they thought it would becuse the girls are receiving nothing more then constant hate...and ik I might be crazy but let's be real of Manon doesn't come back MORE then half of the fandom is leaving with her, it pretty obvious from the way eyekons are reacting towards her "hiatus"...so HxG wouldn't want that either...I have another theory and it's that maybe Manon has some conditions set out and she'll only return when those conditions are met by the company...Idk lol this whole thing has made all delusional and shit, just want her yo return thats all tbh
bi_weirdo_398
this message may be offensive
My dad after kicking me *twice* in the ribs:
Goes out into the living room, sits down on side of the couch, rubs his eyes and starts crying......bitch tf......
My mom:
(My name) yk he's doing it because he loves you and he cares for you and your future, otherwise why would he. (Looks at my dramatic ass dad who's still crying, dek if it was real tho) look at how sad he is that he hit you, you should feel ashamed that you made your father cry...
Le me:
Looking from one face to the other, shocked and holding my ribs (cause they be hurtin bad bad) not knowing what to say...
Like bitch tf you cryin for, YOU hit ME not the other way around please be fr...
Manipulative mfs can't wait to get out of this fucking hell hole...
bi_weirdo_398
@duckie_da_duck yep can't wait lol, they hit and manipulate and then hide it under the pretence of "caring" for me... Oh baby...I'm sorry I wish I could do something to help... You still have a chance yes, but as someone who cares for id still ask ypu to make sure you're ready for either outcome cause she has crushes on other people too.... I have no idea, I just realized that I'm confusing getting numb with me healing, so I hope that gives you enough of an idea...
duckie_da_duck
@bi_weirdo_398 Good that you'll move out soon. I doubt you'd do anything like that, just said it to make a point. Uh, fine. My dog is currently getting put down so there's. That. But other than that, fine. The girl I like (not the one you know about, a lot of stuff happened that I will not be explaining) is luckily gay, but currently has a crush on three different boys, so... I mean, I have a chance! Because we flirt on levels that have no heterosexual explanations. How are you?
bi_weirdo_398
@duckie_da_duck but I'm 19 now so I don't care that much cause I'll be movin soon to college (well maybe) and stuff like that so... I can assure you a 100% that I did none of that so don't worry that pretty little head of yours<3 he just told me to study and I didn't so that's why... Enough of this depressing atmosphere now, how are you kiddo, how's life?
bi_weirdo_398
this message may be offensive
Okay people it's time for another "let's be honest"......
Y'all think Manon comin back or not?? Personally I'm scared to say the least andddd in I shouldn't be sayin this but hope be deteriorating by the second......
Cause like wdym one day everything is going on good and there's a sign that she might come back and then out of nowhere shit completely goes downhill......
I'm scared asf lol......
yunjinswife24
@bi_weirdo_398 yesss for reals
bi_weirdo_398
@yunjinswife24 I AGREEEEEEE!!!!!! They she's not doing well and she's on hiatus but then she's modelling, going to football matches, concerts you name it......and ik I might be sounding stupid but she's almost everywhere the girls are just not *with* them...... Her friends aren't helping either they be actin shady, it's doing more then fueling the drama all then it already is......
bi_weirdo_398
@AFATYUNGISHIPPER idk what to say except that everything is nothing more then confusing......