@bibliophine
Sobrang thankful ako kay Lord kase binigay niya sa akin si Romar. He may not believe in Him but I know after years of pain, I was blessed to have someone who loves me unconditionally.
Mahal na mahal ko ‘tong taong ‘to at alam kong hindi ko kailangang mangamba na baka saktan niya ako at paiyakin.
Nakaget over na ako sa iisipin ng iba. Masaya na ako. Hindi na ako nanghihinayang, hindi na ako natutuwa, malungkot pero masaya na ako kung nasaan ako ngayon. I guess there are bigger things than regret. I don’t regret breaking up with Mark, it led me to Romar. We aren’t perfect but I’m at peace. I’m happy.
Which leads me to my share ko lang moment. Malulungkot na ako kase paalis na siya. Aalis na siya and sana we’ll still keep in touch.
I just sometimes want to ask God to take away all the pain.
I just wanted to be heard but it’s not my obligation to explain myself to others. He got what he wanted but I can never hate him. I can never hate the person who thought me so many things. I hope you’re happy and get some therapy.
I guess it’s my problem na kapag nasasaktan ako kapag naiisip ko yung pitong taon. Hindi ko alam nararamdaman ko kung nanghihinayang ako sa taon, matutuwa, maiiyak, or ano. I’m glad it’s over but sometimes, I just want to cry again because I’m getting more confused with what I should feel.
Maybe it’s my pride that after break up, some people will think that I did something unforgivable. I wasn’t the best choice and people should think low of me because I’m not special.
I wasn’t expecting anything from Romar but knowing that someone loves me more than I love them is something. It was more than just those butterflies in my stomach and I’ll be forever grateful for him.
Hello there again.
Last December 7, we officially broken up. Reading all the things I’ve wrote here broke me again. Ang sakit because it wasn’t really a smooth journey. All along, I’ve been writing shit experiences and I endured it for 4 years.
My 2018 self must’ve been proud of me. We got out of a toxic relationship, love. I’m proud of you. So proud.
Today, I dreamt of my what ifs. It felt real and so happy. Grabe yung rollercoaster of emotions but indeed impossible. Masyado na akong nadadala sa mga what ifs ko. x
"Gusto ko lang namang maging masaya"
Ako: Gusto ko maging masaya tayo.
Hahaha baka nga dahil mas iniisip ko na gusto ko maging masaya tayong dalawa pero you will continue to wish for your own happiness. Kaya kaya kapag masaya ako, nag-aaway tayo. Sorry, I was wrong.
This was me a year ago. I’m so proud of you, Phine. You’ve finally let go. No more heavy weight on my chest.
Napapadalas breakdowns ko ah.