Hi author binibiningpusa your story was very fantastic and emotional.The atmosphere is beautifully bleak the “dilapidated palace,” “weeds sprouting from cracks,” and “bone-chilling cold” all create a strong visual of decay and isolation. but i figure out the settings and the line I just finished your first chapter — it’s such a vivid and atmospheric start! The Cold Palace setting is beautifully described, and Yun Shuran’s calm acceptance adds depth.
A few quick notes: the backstory section feels a bit long, maybe sprinkle it through her thoughts instead; also try varying the “cold/dilapidated” descriptions to keep the tone fresh. Yun Shuran could show a bit more emotion early on to make readers connect faster.
Overall, great potential. your writing is elegant and immersive. I’m excited to see where the story goes next! [horlahmidey25]
Beta Reader | Fantasy Enthusiast
