bird_45
Wait random temporary break from summer that literally started today for me
I actually have a crush on someone
I think?!
I don't know. I'm sort of trying to convince myself that I just want to be friends with her, but we kind of are friends already? sort of? I don't think I would want to date her in an intimate kind of sense (this is why I think I am asexual, but I still would kinda want to date her? like, movies/cuddles/hanging out kind of thing? if that makes any sense?! I am not good with any of those terms.)
I've known her for a few years. I supposedly have social anxiety (I do not agree with the doctor, I just don't like most people and choose to not participate in stupid conversations), but I have never actually been consciously aware of it. Half the time I want to talk to her but I feel so awkward whenever I do that I just want to disappear, and the other half of the time it feels amazing to talk to her because she gets me and the jokes that no one else ever does.
On the literal second-to-last day of school I was trying to figure out if she would like my outfit, and I NEVER care about clothes.
But school ended, and I don't have her number, and next year I won't be in the same grade group as her anymore, because she's just a bit younger than me (but heck, way more mature than anyone our age, which is why I actually like having a conversation with her)... I kinda want to email her and ask for her number, cause I think she has a phone, but that seems creepy? I don't know. I've literally never done this before. This is where the anxiety comes in because I don't want to seem weird. I mean, I know her, but we're not like, best-best friends or something. Normally I don't give a damn at not knowing how to interact "properly" with someone, but now I really do. Also, I have no clue if she's lesbian or bi or anything, and I think just randomly asking her over text would be weird, but I can't introduce it casually in a conversation anymore...
well there's my random rant.
NeriahWrites17
@bird_45 yay!!!! Pls update if she say sth (abt liking u or sth)!!!!! Anyways congrats again on ur first crush!!! And I agree: bunnies are good icebreakers lol
bird_45
@NeriahWrites16 She's a few months younger than me, enough that she's in the grade below me. (by the way, I AM older than 13, haha, I've had people ask how old I was) We were in a split class together all year. I don't really know yet if she likes girls. I kinda hope she does, even though I'd rather be good friends for now (though a tiny part of me hopes we could date in a few years). But I emailed her about something at the end of school (it was a joke we have about pencils, long story) and the conversation ended up with us exchanging numbers. So I have her number now and we might hang out over the summer. ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´- I was sooooooooo nervous to text her first but I did. And sent a photo of my bunnies, because bunnies, I've found, are good icebreakers. (⸝⸝> ω <⸝⸝)
NeriahWrites17
@bird_45 wait… 0. Congratulations on ur first crush girl!!!!! U totally like her!!!! 1. Think u forgot to clicks the announcement button… 2. How old ru and hold is she? 3. Do u think she likes girls? And do u want her to? Or is it an unattainable crush? 4. Why do u like her (important!!)? 5. Don’t text her… just bring it up like: someone said ur sth, or do u have a crush (assuming ur close or sth) yk… 6. Ask her for her number… trust me… I’m in college and my sister (she’s 14) is going through similar stuff too… (tho she’s straight…) anyways it’s not weird… at least if ur friends but even if ur not it’s ok nowadays bc it’s modern and all yk. 8. Wait for a while before u do sth of the crush is really sth bc it can go… although it really seems deep on ur end based on ur text… 9. Dating works on ur term… u don’t have to have a sexual relationship to be tgthr… 10. Doctors aren’t always right… (I study med trust me), also psychiatrists often lie to increase business (which is allowed)… ur perfect the way u are… u do t have to be too social if u don’t want to… just stick to ur group… 11. Enjoy ur holidays… sry it’s soooo long… tried to structure it lol<333
