@bisexual_succulents
Its been a while umm I know i am not really that active anyway i just wanna say i left wattpad because my life got better and this was a coping mechanism i might stay for like 3 books but honestly im probbaly not gonna stay i appreciate everyone who was here with me and just wanna say im jot dead lol
Hi
:)
So I was gone for a hot second :)
To make a long story short i got rejected last night by a guy whom I rejected earlier a few weeks ago life is weird and im stupid for denying my feelings sorry I haven't been on wattpad tbh I know I don't update a book but still anywho drink water and take care of yourself pls
Had my first day of eight grade today and dare I say it was chaotic but nice
I saw some friends and made new ones all in all a good thing at least for me :)
Furry porn artists make a shit ton on commission maybe I should too
@Les_Jacobs10 aaaw no problem! I acctually named it les cause its a smaller version of this plant I have who is named davey
Hey for those of u who like the dsmp whats poppytwt? I've heard it mentioned a lot but idk what it is so if someone could please explain that would be great!
Tw: umm feelings of hopelessness? If ur feeling sad skip to the very bottom to hear things that make me happy cause I wanted to end on less serious note and honestly things maybe aren't all that bad
Do you ever feel like you're just there just so your friends can feel superior to someone or smt
I'm constantly underestimated im never enough my opinions are always incorrect to them there will always be someone worth more. I'm not the most athletic one or the funniest one or the prettiest one or the smartest one im not the most confident or charismatic one
If I'm just the sum of my parts then what I'm I worth? If those parts on their own aren't worth anything then my value just drops. If they don't like something im saying I get told to shut up, never listened to
I miss when we were all in fourth/fifth grade and we all played outside and ran and played tag and hide and seek and it was all fun and no one was serious and we were all happy and school was easy and parents were nice
When my future wasn't being dangled in front of my face just out of my reach being pulled further away or closer depending on my choices
Miss the countless nights were I wasn't aware of the current state of mayhem of the world and how my future is in the hands of greedy bastrads who are willing to sacrifice lives for money and my life is just another in the pile.
I log on to social media to scape and im made even more aware of things outside my control
Im drifting trough my days in a haze of music and too much or too little sleep.
I had to cut this into two parts
And in between this sea of hopelessness I turn to the small things in life I enjoy
Its a lifeboat made up of small things that bring a spark of joy to the darkest days I guess
Cutting oranges is nice specially sharing with someone
On that note sharing food with people feels so humanly specially bread
Feeding the baby ducks every baby duck season
Waking up early and seeing the fish swim in the lake and the lake looks like a mirror
Thunderstorms
The owl house getting the finale and so much representation this is a huge step
Playing mc with my friends
The guy I met at summer camp whom I now talk to every night without fault
My friends the good ones
Seeing my plants grow and thrive
My art slowly getting better
Doing taekwondo
Biking
Climbing trees
Listening to my favorite songs or new ones
The feeling of wind on a hot day
The overwhelming urge to kill when playing uno with friends :)
And the fact that as much pain my mom has caused on occasion she is honestly doing her best and this can all be fixed and I will not let my family bury me early cause I refuse to burden them with that
And the nice people of wattpad who welcomed me into a community when I was feeling rejected