bitter-leaf

˗ˏ✎ ,, i see romanticization and fetishization of mental illnesses, abuse, s;;cide, s;;f h;rm, possessive/obsessive relationships and generally just abusive and controlling environments are still rampant in wattpad. '' *ೃ
          	
          	✎↷: ❛❛@bitter-leaf ;;❃❜❜

bitter-leaf

˗ˏ✎ ,, ah-haha. the idolization and borderline fetishization of japanese folks are still thriving too, huh? what a shame. '' *ೃ
          	  
          	  ✎↷: ❛❛@bitter-leaf ;;❃❜❜
• Reply

bitter-leaf

˗ˏ✎ ,, i see romanticization and fetishization of mental illnesses, abuse, s;;cide, s;;f h;rm, possessive/obsessive relationships and generally just abusive and controlling environments are still rampant in wattpad. '' *ೃ
          
          ✎↷: ❛❛@bitter-leaf ;;❃❜❜

bitter-leaf

˗ˏ✎ ,, ah-haha. the idolization and borderline fetishization of japanese folks are still thriving too, huh? what a shame. '' *ೃ
            
            ✎↷: ❛❛@bitter-leaf ;;❃❜❜
• Reply

bitter-leaf

˗ˏ✎ ,, i am still obsessed with christian theology, even more than before actually. i am no longer a musical theatre fan, etc etc. im gonna be honest, i forgot wattpad and twitter exists for like, 5 months so thats why i wasnt active
          
          i am not joking when i say i forgot that twitter and wattpad exists. like i woke up and it was completely wiped from my memory. i just remembered wattpad exists because i saw an instagram post mocking wattpad writers and i just... had an entire flashback moment '' *ೃ
          
          ✎↷: ❛❛@bitter-leaf ;;❃❜❜

bitter-leaf

˗ˏ✎ ,, how long has it been? hi, hello, halo, こんにちは, γεια, salve!
          
          life update: i wiped out my instagram account. insta rlly need to add a 'remove all followers' button, my hand cramped :[
          
          i am now a stray kids stan.
          
          my voice is deeper!!! not deep enough tho :I
          
          i found out i have haphephobia in the worst way possible. on my b-day, my parents asked for a hug and i said no, cuz i already knew that im uncomfortable with people touching me [but at that time it wasn't extreme]. but they insisted to and forced me to hug them, and i pushed them away and felt my skin crawl. god, it was so disgusting. i had to type down my feelings and it was just horrible. i spent 40 minutes in the shower just scrubbing my skin off.
          
          im gonna copy&paste the note that i typed down in the reply '' *ೃ
          
          ✎↷: ❛❛@bitter-leaf ;;❃❜❜

bitter-leaf

this message may be offensive 
˗ˏ✎ ,, jesus christ i was fucking ANGRY lmao '' *ೃ
            
            ✎↷: ❛❛@bitter-leaf ;;❃❜❜
• Reply

bitter-leaf

this message may be offensive 
˗ˏ✎ ,, 'I hate mom. I hate mom. I hate mom. I hate mom. I hate mom. I hate mom. I hate mom.
            Scratch that, I hate everyone in this god-forsaken family. What in the goddamn fuck is wrong with this family. I hate this I hate this I hate this. Yesterday was december 6th, my birthday. I hated it so much. That day I felt so disgusted and annoyed. I already told them, again and again and again that I don't like it when people are touching me. Is it so hard to understand that I feel uncomfortable with skinship? I expressed my discomfort with hugging to my parents and they both ignored it. Then they went and guilt-tripped me, telling me how sad she is because she's my mother yet I never hug her, or that I constantly push her away whenever she approaches me.
            IS IT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND MY DISCOMFORT?
            EVEN IF IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO YOU, YOU COULD AT LEAST TRY TO RESPECT IT. YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST TRIED TO RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES.
            Everytime someone touches me, even something as small as brushing against my hand, it would make me feel so disgusted that I would feel the need to wash off my hand because of it. I would feel so incredibly uncomfortable, I would start physically cringing, I would genuinely feel horrible.
            I have to wash it off. I have to. It's so uncomfortable. It feels so dirty. I feel so dirty.
            But even if I wash it off, I would still feel dirty. The feeling won't go away, I would feel so horrible, and all I could do is cry and continuosly scrub my skin off.
            You think it's hard? You feel offended whenever I push your hand away? WELL IMAGINE HOW I FUCKING FEEL. I HAVE TOLD YOU REPEATEDLY THAT I WILL, INSTINCTIVELY SLAP YOUR HAND AWAY. I HAVE TOLD YOU, AGAIN AND AGAIN, THAT IF YOU TOUCH ME, I WILL GET MAD AT YOU. I HAVE ALREADY WARNED YOU, I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU BEFORE HAND. I HAVE ALREADY SET THAT BOUNDARY.
            AND WHAT YOU DID IS VIOLATE IT.
            YOU THINK YOU ARE THE ONE WITH A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY?
            What a fucking joke.' '' *ೃ
            
            ✎↷: ❛❛@bitter-leaf ;;❃❜❜
• Reply