bl_principito

Published chapter 13 of POS, bcs apparently it never published. Please read it if u haven’t

ReneeNovelSnack111

Hi,
            I'm Ava from NovelSnack. I recently came across your book "Plan Of Seduction "and was really impressed by your writing style and the story!
            We believe your work has great potential, and we'd love to invite you to sign with our platform so more readers can discover your talent. If you're interested in discussing the details, feel free to reach out anytime!

Ellacecile

I love your story. Please stop looking down on yourself, you are amazing ♥️ I had lost interest in reading because I started to feel like every story looked alike. And I found your story, now I’m reading it at 11 pm feeling all comfortable, relaxed and in love ( though I’m single )

kirlanda4ever

Hey! 
          You responded to me on chpt 29 of Neal’s book and I didn’t want to post spoilers since I finished it. 
          
          You aren’t a bad writer. Its just your plot is disjointed and your timeline is off. I’m not a writer, I just love reading and your characters are enjoyable. Their attitudes in conjunction with the story mesh well. Some could use some character development though. But with this story so much stuff feels abruptly ended or not explained. I see there is another book I must read, which I will soon; but I’m just confused how skylar’s book fits in with the things that’s already happened in this one.  Ian’s character definitely needs to be fleshed out as many of the abandoned plot points deals directly with him. 
          Examples:
          Shane/Diesel, the council, the whole issue with the power dynamic causing the need for a biological heir, who also turns out to be omega too, and the twins pack being able to bypass the power hungry council and just move into the forest. And whats with the 10 year old girl/god just running off on a mission and the parent being like meh? Ian needs his own book. 
          But for Neal, his relationship dynamic with his brothers could be explored. It feels like its only hinted at here. And more fleshing out his relationship with Ian. You started to do that towards the end, but it honestly felt like his closeness to Ian came out of left field. In the beginning it seemed like they were guardian and child but later on you said they were basically the same age and it does not feel like that. Ian still feels like a parental figure years older because that’s how you wrote him. All in all, your book was entertaining but could definitely be improved and edited more. Its not bad, especially since you were in your early teens when you did it.

bl_principito

Hi! Sorry for such a late reply, I just got on break, but thank u for taking the time to comment (and not on the story itself snsnn). 
            
            I see what u mean and I get the points ur making. I genuinely don’t promote CYBMPC bcs it’s so *everywhere* and I had no goals for it when I first wrote it - i was just a teen interested in boy x boy -, when I tried editing it (still as a teen) I only fixed grammar and terribly cringey moments and started on Neal’s story. Even now I have no real idea what’s going on in CYBMPC, and when I re-edited Neal’s story I simply wanted the whole series over w. That’s entirely on me. Rushing it and leaving things unfinished are things I’m trying to fix. And that’s why I decided on a one shot book for Elliot’s and Dayon’s stories. I didn’t want ppl who had seen them since the first book not getting anything in the end. (Ian needs his own book made me snort bcs yes, he does- I agree w all of ur points fr. I definitely am aware of flushing out relationships, especially w Neal and the characters in that book (again, rushing, entirely my fault really)). 
            
            I don’t see myself going back to fix my stories anytime soon, at least not now, but when and if I do I will take ur points into consideration. I really appreciate ur criticism and hope that they won’t be reoccurring issues in future stories.
            
            Again, thank you, ♡
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