blackhazex
This new therapist is convinced I’m possessed with demon entities. No Ken, that's just bloody David trying to put you in your place after invalidating and crossing my boundaries.
blackhazex
lysaths
hi xan
blackhazex
@lysaths Your account and presence are definitely familiar. I believe you because you follow half of the people I know (and my old account). Forgive me, but I don’t exactly remember your older account or the covers I made. If you’re comfortable sharing, may I know about your previous account or the names of the covers I made for you?
lysaths
@blackhazex yes! we used to dm and we were mutuals on older accounts, i used to get covers made by you way back when but we also used to talk on occasion!
blackhazex
Suddenly I want “My Voices Have Names” to be deleted.
blackhazex
Didn't think it'll happen but it did. Thought this hooligan knew so I revealed myself. Bro started asking me to switch and asking for others to talk with him. bro stfu wtf is you bro. WHO are you? Acting like them therapist when you not. sit down mf. Just cuz its yo first time meeting someone like me you got no right asking me to switch kizz my azz you gay af bro
blackhazex
— anyone reading. Asking one time? Ok sure np but bro kept asking for 20 MINUTES non stop to my face. What you think was gonna happen? Be being blunt n rude
blackhazex
Hello mamas, just dropped a new poetry book. Read if you’re interested.
https://www.wattpad.com/1534937281?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=blackhazex
blackhazex
— God, if you're real. Make me one person again. I don't care anymore. It's painful being here.
IS33STAR3
i saw your book update in my notifs and i was struck with recognition. not sure why. but the content and your user seems familiar
the point of this is to say- hi. i didn't think anybody else still used here to post their works anymore
blackhazex
@IS33STAR3 Ngl I'm dead on it n don't feel ok sharing with you cuz idk you alot. Yet. Bet you write good tho, I'll read your work if I remember
IS33STAR3
@blackhazex neither. i just like the look of exclamation marks lmao. oh, you do? if you're comfortable sharing, i'd wanna read. and yea, i do write too. or at least, i've been trying to
blackhazex
@IS33STAR3 nice to meet you too is33star3. Is you just excited or hyper? N yeah I write but not on this acc, I do write poem here but I just removed them or someone be doing it who tf knows. I think you write too?
blackhazex
Sick of all these smut. I need a clean book with a good plot. IM STARVING JESUS IDC IM LOSING COMPOSED CALM TEXTING BUT F THAT IM DYING FOR SOME FLUFFY GRUMPY SAVING PROTECTING GUIDING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE TYPE OF SHI
cigssforlife
Luv ur writing style :)
Wanna do f4f ??
blackhazex
I might forever remove “The People In My Head” only because I'm at the stage of recovery where no alter of mine wants to educate on my disorder and simply don’t want to be seen anymore. As Xan, I don't have the will to educate anymore. I lost multiple close friends because of it. It sounds fascinating to you but definitely not to the people living with it. I find it annoying and disgusting when anyone says, “oh wow it's so fascinating to me”. I’m not saying you can't be curious but I don't see you tell anyone with depression or anxiety disorder that it's so bloody fascinating. I know it's a normal reaction to feel scared and avoid people like me but you can't ignore and disrespect them over something that wasn't their fault.
I tried to educate and understand everyone but It only backfired and created a new fully functional alter. If you're someone with any disorder, I want you to know you can scream and yell for others to understand your symptoms but know that you can't force it. If people don't want to listen to you, let them be. Find people who do want to listen and understand you. Your trauma wasn't your fault but healing and working on your complex trauma is your responsibility.
blackhazex
Now that I'm not in my out-of-control state. Anyone that did read any of it, act like you didn’t. I do want to add, that it doesn’t matter if your pain and experience were minor or major. If it impacted you then it matters. If it’s on your mind or your body’s reacting in any negative way, it still matters. Comparing and invaliding yourself is a bloody form of abuse to yourself. (A different story if you’ve got PSTD). You’re definitely not crazy or selfish for wanting the same treatment you give to others.
blackhazex
Unpopular opinion: There’s nothing wrong with loving the movie “Split” or the series “Moon Knight.” It's for entertainment purposes and a great cinematography.
It’s only a problem if you’re glorifying the symptoms and not aware of what happens to real people living with it.
[Bare with me. I might post when I’m under the influence of other parts/alters.]