blackrose6692

@YasminSalih  your books are amazing that boook is one of my favorites

blackrose6692

With the razor kissed wrists
          this is my bright red scream
          as I press down harder blood begins to surface
          I convince myself "you don't feel pain, forget it, it's worth it"
          You convince yourself that there is no pain
          I try to forget
          it's just my sick little game
          there's white ones, red ones, fresh ones too
          I'm ashamed of what I do
          As time goes by they get harder to hide
          more and more skin with scars on the outside
          Hide them with long sleeved shirts, it covers them up but doesn't take away the hurt
          It hurts the same when nobody knows; it's just the way it goes
          Cut to feel alive, it's something I know is real
          It's something I wish I could hide, something I didn't have to feel
          When things get too bad it's first instinct to just cut away
          Cut away, make some new scars to just get through the day
          This time it got out of hand, cut too deep and can hardly stand
          Losing way too much blood and I begin to fall
          This will be my little secret, I won't say anything at all

blackrose6692

You wanted me to be your little girl
          You wanted me to see you as my world
          You wanted me to be all I could be
          I wanted you to open your eyes and see
          
          The bruises on my arms were not love
          The pain in my eyes was not relief
          Blood stained the white feathers of the dove
          And she did not mourn, but she grieved
          
          My childhood was dust in the wind
          By the time I was four
          It was over with
          The moment you shoved me into that door
          
          But Daddy, I am sorry
          I am sorry I wasn't everything you wanted
          I am sorry I made you mad
          I am sorry for being so bad
          
          I took the beatings for my brother
          because you didn't see he had already given up
          I carried the burden of pain for my mother
          because you didn't see she was already shriveled up
          
          Please God, set me free
          Take these bruises from me
          Please take away the breath of life
          Oh, God, let me drop this knife
          
          Heaven cannot set me free
          It is not ready for me
          I have suffered much in this life
          but help does not come in the form of a knife
          
          I will live
          I will breathe
          I will stand tall
          And for myself, I will not fall

blackrose6692

Hate takes alot of Love
          
          I kneel on the floor,
          Tears falling from my eyes.
          I have learnt to hate you,
          Along with all your lies.
          
          Then why do I still love you?
          Why am i still here?
          When you have broken me,
          and still not shed a tear.
          
          People say it’s plain to see,
          People say its clear.
          That if i just run away,
          You would just disapear.
          
          But nothing was ever simple,
          There’s nothing clear to see.
          I could never run away,
          From what was once so dear to me.
          
          I love you but i hate you,
          Without you i’d be dead.
          But you’ll be the death of me,
          With all the things you’ve said.
          
          I know this won’t make any sense,
          You might misunderstand.
          Please just never leave me,
          I hope you’ll understand.