@blissfulind
Hey story lover,
would you read my story? Join the journey of Davina's life and let me know how you feeling about it in comments.
This is my first story so i will appreciate it if all help me out yeah ...
Vote
Comment
And share
(づ￣ ³￣)づ
Lot of love
https://www.wattpad.com/story/240456130
Hey! Sorry to bother you. I'd really appreciate it if you give my story a try. It's titled "Faking Ivy" and it's on my profile. Thanks if you do and it's okay if you don't.x
Hi dear,
Can you please support my story "REGRET" its a cousin love story. Its my first book. Hope you enjoy reading REGRET.
Please follow vote and comment.
https://my.w.tt/DkeuQgwfD9
Love jo❤
@blinking_hurt thanx for ur honest suggestions. Will try to improve my writing skills. Love jo
@jomessey Bruh...I'm gonna have to be honest with you: Your story needs work, a lot of it. Chapter one started off with a third person's POV then, suddenly you switched to Aaliya's POV and like, was it the protagonist thinking? I don't get it. The thoughts are usually put in italics. Not a Grammar Nazi but mAN, are so many inconsistencies in that book! The dialogues, don't, what you're doing—do not. It's not a play, you can use words like, said, sneered, snapped, yelled. And even add a pronoun, instead of repeating the names (like Ahad-"dialogue" Aaliya-"dialogue"). Change: Ahad his head on this hands to Ahad walked in, sharply, looking visibly sore. He’s so furious. He runs his hand through his unruly hair. He looks frustrated, angry. "What's wrong? What happened?" I ask, gently. Ahad-"What's wrong?....with some other man!" to “What's wrong? What's wrong?! After hoeing around I can't believe you have the audacity! The audacity to ask me!” he shouts. "What are you talking about, Ahad?" I sway a little towards him. Hoping he would calm down I try soothing his shoulders. He flinches grasping them. His lips set in a grim line, he's not happy. Till the second last para, it was written from Aaliya's POV, the last part is in 3rd person again. Rewrite the chapter, and write it well. Why are you not telling us her thought? Nothing about what the protagonist is thinking, not intriguing at all. 「(°ヘ°) There's more, but these are major turns-offs to the readers. I hope you correct them, I'm really looking forward to reading more, pls don't get discouraged :) Love love! ❤
Thanks for the follow! And thanks for adding my book to your reading list. Hope you like it :)
Thanks for the follow dear:)
Hey! You replied on my comment and naturally in stalking you now so.. hey!
Hiiii!!! I just found your comment really really funny and decided to stalk you XD
Hi there ☺️ I wanted to ask your support for a new fantasy book! I write a series of fantasy stories called Constellations and I think you might enjoy it if you like magic in a futuristic world!
If you have a moment to give it a chance I would love to hear what you think!!
https://www.wattpad.com/story/217311186-when-inyanga-gets-into-magicians-college
Be well today <3
@EscritoraMia It sounds interesting. I'll check it out. Thank you for my book to your list. :)
Thanks for adding to your reading list
@goopman46 Sure np! :)
