@blownthrough
I won’t let much on but late at night I scrawl the words I want to say to you feverishly into my notebook and my devotion mixed with the ink of my ballpoint pen seems to set the pages on fire and those embers settle softly on my lips reminding me again of what it felt like to kiss you
I just need her to hold me, need to put my head on her chest and close my eyes. She’s sweet. I love her. Don’t ask me in what capacity, I don’t know, okay? All I know is, I’ll meet her wherever she’d like. Wherever she draws the line at any given moment, you’ll find me right there. Sometimes I might toe the line, test the waters, push my limits. But never enough to push her away, or even to draw her closer. Just enough to let her know that I’m there, wherever she wants me, I’m there.
Do you remember when I smiled into your teeth as you kissed me?
I say that I miss you all the time, you and you and you. I say it now with no one to direct it to. Maybe I say it because it’s habitual, it’s instinct. Maybe what I’m missing isn’t you, but the vital organs underneath my ribcage. This wound that just won’t heal, a scar it will never be.
I don’t think you’re ever coming back for me
My friends cover my eyes now when there’s a wedding party in our vicinity
At the end of the day, what does it come back to? YOU AND ME!!! I try to regulate my emotions but I just end up with bruises on my fists and hands and you deserve the worst of everything this world has to offer you but I cannot stop loving you I hope you suffer and I hope I never hear about it because I hope you’re okay and I love you I love you I love you I hope you’re in hell the way I am too.
I cannot keep punishing the walls and mirrors because I need to get the security deposit back. I hate you you fucking asshole I would have married you
She’s so fucking pretty can you teach me how to breathe?
Sophie you can go fuck yourself
Haven’t you taken enough from me? Won’t you torture someone else’s sleep?
Maybe a little part of me entertains these men hoping that one of them might know and tell me about you