Ren

uhhhh MILGRAM fic anyone?? >.<

 i want to keep spending time with you two, and being your friend. those are my real feelings and i don’t think they’ll ever change. i ran from that and caused so much hurt. because of my stupidity i think i may have lost the chance to have that wish realized. i’m very sorry, to myself and to you.

i need some ideas for some luca-centric angst. i haven)t done any in a while

oh my god hes called toad because he’s a fucking toadstool

you promised you wouldn’t let her die.

I’m sorry

im sorry im so fucking sorry

So go ahead and shoot me with your motherfucking gun
          I deserve to be pumped full of lead for all the shit I've done
          I ruined your whole life like I thought you ruined mine
          It was my fault, the entire fucking time
          So go ahead and shoot me with your motherfucking gun
          I deserve to be pumped full of lead for all the shit I've done
          I ruined your whole life like I thought you ruined mine
          It was my fault, the entire fucking time
          You angered me eventually, you drove me up the wall
          And by that I mean you made me think I wasn't sane at all
          I cut my hair, you cut your wrist at least you told me that you did
          God, we were both such stupid kids
          At some point, I had realized my life was living hell
          So I blamed you for it, for my friends' nightmares as well
          I cut my hair and dyed it, the same day I cut you off
          Turns out everyone else had the same thought
          
          So go ahead and shoot me with your motherfucking gun
          I deserve to be pumped full of lead for all the shit I've done
          I broke your heart and left you friendless, I never wanted you to be
          It was an accident I know you won't believe
          So go ahead and shoot me with your motherfucking gun
          I deserve to be pumped full of lead for all the shit I've done
          I broke your heart and left you friendless, I never wanted you to be
          It was an accident I know you won't believe
          So yeah, you cracked the code I'm a stonecold heartless bitch
          I'm a bad liar who somehow brainwashed everyone to think
          That I'm completely innocent and fucked you up for fun and spat in your face when I was done
          God, what I would give to genuinely think that I'm the good guy here and to not be on the brink of gauging my damn eyes out and throwing up my lungs because of guilt from shit I haven't even done
          So go ahead and shoot me with your motherfucking gun
          I deserve to be pumped full of lead for all the shit I've done
          You're such a cunt, you made me think that I'm a threat to public health
          Hurry up, before I do it my damn self

can you hear me?

>week long chronic pain flare that i couldn’t even move
          >SID gets bad the *day* after my intake application to IOP gets rejected
          >borderline bleeds out on my period
          >FUCKING COVID
          
          life is force feeding me lemons and im too sick to make lemonade :(