Do you ever wonder why we are the way we are? I never chose to be the person I am, but I am who I am. I can’t control what I feel.
The way she strokes my hair, the way she rubs the back of my palm while she would hold my hand no matter how sweaty my palms got, the way she would look at me would make my heart beat so fast that I forget to breath, lost in her eyes, her touch, her gaze, her lips, her hair, her laugh, her scent, but she would never love me the way I love her. She would never love a woman.
Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, I’m a catholic. The daughter of a mother and father who would go ‘eugh’ at the sight of a same sex couple. They say ‘we’re your parents, you can tell us anything’ but can I though? ‘We’re your parents of course all we wanna see is you being happy’ but is that all though? Sometimes inevitably they tend to care about what others think before what I think and what I feel.
But I still can’t help feeling the way I feel. I can’t stop reimagining her scent. I can’t help but imagine what we could be if we could just be free. I dream of her hair brushing my face, her lips on mine, her head on my shoulder, our fingers interlocked.
Her being mine.
But we’re a lost cause. We’re destined for each other, but maybe just not in this universe.
