₮ⱤłɆĐ ₜₒ bₑ 𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡

/  whatever you do, do NOT consider mavis with the chorus of  'merry christmas, please don't call'  

──    જ⁀  @borntobleed- ,
            
            guess  so.   he  wouldn't  get  to  interact  with  our  cheerful  community  out  here,  anyway.    {  sarcasm  drips  from  donna's  voice  even  as  she  preens  her  words  out  with  a  smile  to  mimic  the  same  capitol  bullshit  she  hears  every  year.   a  cheerful,  warm  community  that  benefits  from  all  the  capitol  does  for  them...  that's  certainly  what  district  12  is.  
            if  you're  blind,  deaf  and  ridiculously  idealistic,  anyway.  }   me  personally,  i  like  not  being  around  everyone.   it's  easier  to  pretend  we've  gotten  to  the  end  of  a  nightmare  out  here  rather  than  remembering  it's  real  life.   {  it's  unsaid,  the  neediness  of  the  child  who  got  reaped  without  ever  leaving  the  districts  that  lies  within  her,  but  belladonna  prefers  this  solitude  for  what  it's  truly  worth:  the  knowledge  that  the  risk  of  losing  anyone  out  here  is  far  less  than  befriending  a  girl  in  school  only  to  watch  her  bite  it  on  the  muddy  ground  years  later.   with  a  shake  of  her  head  she  knocks  blonde  hair  back,   letting  the  vast  emptiness  of  the  house  settle  around  her.   strange,  really,  how  it  feels  more  like  a  home  than  hers  does.   perhaps  it's  because  the  residents  within  aren't  strangers.  }   you  could  always  make  it  yours.    ( .. )   i  know  a  few  people  you  could  trade  with  to  get  some  paint,  and  making  some  decor  is  easy  enough.   maybe  you  guys  can  make  it  feel  less  empty.  

(  @villagesview-  )
            
            yeah. just me 'n my sister out here. mom and dad stayed in town, it’s better to be closer when you're the mayor i guess.   [  and mom can barely lift herself out of bed even on the good days. mavis sometimes wonders how much resentment her mom has, thinking of how she could've had this life if maysilee won. instead, here was her daughter, who she watched save herself and her sister from the same cruel fate. ]   sometimes i feel like there are too many rooms in this house. like, i don’t even know what to do with all the space.  (..)   it's better, though. i'd rather be an outcast than get stared at for walking down the street.   [  it’s no lie that being reaped, then actually coming back from the games, made people look at you different. ]   i'd choose boring. 

i wasn’t planning on it. better to prepare you for the brutal truth. the worst part about winning is seeing people’s faces. having to lie to their face. it doesn’t get better. ( haymitch knew that some part of him was being harsh, but another part of him couldn’t find it in himself to worry about it. too much, at least. ) do you really want the honest answer to that? i’m sure i felt pretty similar to how you’re feeling right now. but i can’t exactly imagine it. i’m sure you don’t feel too great, though.

(  @fiftyswon  )
            
            i don't need you to tell me anything that's a plain lie, haymitch.   [  her body hurts. she's still bruised and scratched up, the capitol haven't swooped in to perfect her complexion for the cameras yet. he's right, she fought like hell. no, what's that term she's heard thrown around?   all-fire. mavis' hand raises to clench around the necklace hanging from her neck, knowing who it once belonged to. ]    i…  you’re really gonna ask me that?   how did  /you/  feel??

(    @borntobleed-     )    (     merrilee  can’t  help  but  shake  her  head,  she  remembers  what  is  like   to be  mavis’s  age,  what  life  was  like  before  her  sister  all  but  disappeared  into  thin  air,  she  used  to  feel   /   invincible   /   but  she  also  knows  what  it’s  like  the  reality  sets back in, and if she can keep that  crushing  weight,  that  realization,  that  harsh  reality,  from  hitting  her  daughters  as  hard  as  it  hit  her,  then  maybe  the  knot  of  guilt  tied  up  in  her  chest  would  ease  and  finally  disappear    )    i  want-   (   . . .   )   i  need  you  to  be  safe.    you’re  not  bullet  proof

(  @twinslost  )
            
            i know mom.  (..)   i know, and i get why but…  [  mavis runs a hand over her hair, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. ]   it's not like i'm going off taunting peacekeepers for fun!   i've gotta pretend this life is worth living somehow. i'm gonna walk out that door every day but i'm gonna walk back in every night too, 'kay?

(    @borntobleed-    )     god  you  are   /   just   /   as  disagreeable  as  she  was    (    normally,  being  told  you  resemble  or  behave  like  an  old  relative  would  be  a  compliment,  especially  from  someone  who  watched  over  them  in  the  hours  leading  up  to  their  death,  but  the  bitter  edge  to  calliope’s  words  make  it  clear  she  held  very  little  other  than disdain  in  her  heart  for  maysilee  donner    )     y’know,  i’m  here  as  a  favour  to  my  sister,  and  i’m  only  doing  this  because  i  love  her   /   very   /   much  and  she  still  feels  very  guilty,  god  knows  why,  about  your  aunt  and  that  whole  mess  of  a  games,  so  you  can  take  my  words  with  a  grain  of  salt,  you  can  ignore  me  completely,  i  don’t  care,  but  i  don’t  turn  out  successful   tribute  after  successful  tribute  but  letting  you  all  run  wild  around  the  training  centre  without  ever  thinking  about  what  the  people  who  will  be  your    /   life  blood   /   once  you’re  in  that  arena  think  about  you    (    the  words  come  out  harsh  and  definitely  don’t   do  anything  to  ease  the  bubbling  tension  in  the  air,  but  calliope  trinket   /   isn’t   /   a  failure,  she’s  had  disagreeable  tributes  before,  and  she’s  sure  she’ll  have  more  after  this,  and  since  effie  seems  to  care  a  great  about  making  sure  this  one  turns  out  fine  in  the  end,  she  doesn’t  plan  on  starting  to  be  one  now    )
            
            
            
            /    sorry for the rambles- i fear my muse for my terrible girl is growing very high

(  @fashionforwards  )
            
            i don't know what you're talking about, i'm a darling.  :/   i don't give a  /shit/  about media training. what's the point??   [  she scoffs, folding her arms over her chest. ]  what i  /need/  is training for survival. not for your capitol screens. i wouldn't expect you to understand.

(    @borntobleed-     )    (    wiress 
            nods  curtly,  the  memory  still  stings,  of  the  girl  who  had  so  much  ahead  of  her,  of  the  freshness  of  her  win,  of  their  stupid  plan,  of  the  birds,  of  watching  that  moment  over  and  over  in  her  head    )    you - you  remind  me  of  her-

(  @tictoks  )
            
            you did?   [  at the mention of her aunt, mavis' chin lifts and she perks up a little bit. her fingers twist around the pendant hanging from her neck. ]    this was hers, too.  (..)   did you mentor her?

──    જ⁀  @borntobleed- ,
            
            {  oh.
            the  words  hit  donna  like  a  left  punch  to  the  gut  in  a  way  that  makes  her  turn  cold,  an  arctic  plunge  straight  into  the  feeling  that  died  with  a  little  girl  in  an  arena  years  ago.   she  died,  and  with  her  stepped  down  the  feeling  of  not  being  alone  in  a  world  meant  to  strip  them  of  each  other.   she's  been  angry  enough  to  throw  away  the  attempts  of  her  peers  until  they  stopped  trying,  brewing  in  grief  that  she  inherited  and  made  her  own,  and  only  one...
            only  one  person  has  sifted  through  the  tide.  
            for  a  moment  belladonna  is  dumbfounded,  expression  unreadable  for  a  girl  so  easy  to  read,  before  a  daringly  small  smile  twitches  at  her  lips.  }   ladies  don't  make  assumptions.   figured  i'd  let  you  clear  that  one  up  yourself.   {  it's  a  remark  passed  casually  under  a  veil  masking  surprise,  the  tight  ball  in  her  throat  suddenly  making  her  words  a  fight  to  manage.  }   no,  uh..  we're  on  the  same  page.   ( .. )    you  have  me,   too.  
            
            */   it's  perfect  as  per  usual  my  love !!   never  doubt  yourself  :")  ♡

(  @villagesview-  )
            
            …  you have me.   [  is it selfish?   a self-important, pointless counter to donna's determined hopelessness. mavis wasn't blessed with her aunt's social wit, and she never considered someone a true friend until she found a girl even angrier than herself. is it pathetic to beg to count for something? ]    you have /me/.   [  mavis affirms. if she's going to run with it, she'll claw out the little confidence she has left between exhaustion and vulnerability. ]     i mean, shit, i’ll see myself out if we weren't on the same page, but..
            
            /  not sure how i feel about this but i hope i got across the vibe i was going for!!   :')

──    જ⁀  @borntobleed- ,
            
            most  of  'em  do.   they  reap  kids  every  year  just  to  keep  everyone  engaged ..  a  twelve  year  old  is  always  gonna  be  an  underdog  in  a  kill  field,  but  they'll  root  for  the  poor  bastard  every  time.   {  never  out  of  desire  for  them  to  win,  donna  knows.  it's  out  of  selfish  desire  to  feel  better  about  themselves,  to  tell  bedtime  stories  about  how  they're  not  sheep  because  they  spent  thirty  seconds  crying  over  a  kid  getting  picked  apart,  but  that  doesn't  change  the  tune  of  the  song.   sympathy  is  a  knife;  all  you  have  to  do  is  twist  it.  }    let  them  underestimate  you.   {  she  advises,  blue  eyes  shifting  to  linger  on  the  younger.   she's  seen  enough  to  know  the  tricks  of  the  trade,  and  if  she  can  help  bring  a  district  12  tribute  home  for  the  first  time  in  twenty-two  years,  she  will.  }   that's  what  they  always  do.   put  on  your  big  eyes  and  let  'em  think  you're  small.   effie  says  you  get  more  flies  with  sugar  than  with  salt,  and  as  much  as  i  hate  admitting  it  sometimes,  she's  right. 

(  @villagesview-  )
            
            some folks like an underdog.   [ mavis shrugs her shoulders. whether donna is saying this simply because they’ve built an odd kind of companionship during this sweet time pre-hunger games. long chats while haymitch was passed out drunk and sleep wouldn’t come. ]   all i really know is, i’m pissed off. and if they underestimate me, what happens after is on them.  (..)   i can survive. i'm  /gonna/  fucking survive. thanks, donna.

──    જ⁀  @borntobleed- ,
            
            nothing  t'  talk  about.   {  oh,  god,   there's  too  much  to  talk  about.   if  she  thinks  too  much  about  it,  she  can't  breathe  if  she  allows  her  mind  to  linger  for  too  long,  the  restraints  around  her  legs  and  wrists  phantoms  that  left  ghastly  marks,  the  water  they  submerged  her  in  still  chilling  her  to  the  bone  long  after  she's  been  dried.   if  she  reaches  for  her  arms,   reaches  to  comfort  herself,  all  that  greets  her  are  her  bones.   her  hair  feels  dry  and  limp  but  donna  swears  it  still  clings  to  too-thin  skin,  swears  it  embeds  itself  in  the  healing  wound  of  enobaria'a  bite.   swears  an  infection  will  ravage  her  whole.  without  much  thought  she  grabs  the  grapejuice  from  mavis'  hand,  unscrewing  the  cap  to  take  a  swig.  }    their  buildings  are  ugly  as  fuck.   {  she  settles  on,  trying  to  ignore  how  her  voice  shakes.  donna  isn't  weak.   she's  never  been  fucking  weak,  and  she  won't  let  the  capitol  change  that  now.  }    all  white  and  empty.   for  all  their  designers,  nothing  about  that  hellhole  had  anything  worth  writing  home  about.   ( .. )   at  least  twelve  had  more  life.
            
            */   just  one  single  glimpse  of  relief  to  make  some  sense  of  what  you've  seen ,,

(  @villagesview-  )
            
            okay.   [  mavis chooses to resign very quickly. she's just glad for donna to be here in one piece. haunted, shaken, but not dead or completely erased from every sense of self that once existed. that counted for a lot, coming back from the capitol. ]    you don't owe anyone anything, but the donna i know…  i know she already knows that. but uh, if you ever do decide you need to, i can be a good listener. i've got some trauma stories i could trade too.   [  a dark joke, but one that lands when you’ve experienced so much abuse and death. there are some things you just don’t speak about. mavis' chuckle is short-lived, however. she reaches behind her, pulling out a bottle of grapejuice. ]    the hard stuff's pretty to hard to come by ‘round here but, i've got sources to get us close enough.
            
            /  them with epiphany…  don't touch me