Hope

Hello, Ate! May I ask if you have a writing community along side you while you right your pieces? I really want to write also but I'm feeling alone publishing my works, so, if there's a chance I can join your organization please tell me sooner. Btw, keep striving and growing, Ate!

let's just get this over, hope.

This is just temporary. I'd be back.  My phone got broken, and I do not have any device to continue writing here. I do not know kung kailan ako makababalik. But I will. Thank you. Even when no one stays. And perhaps, no one would care. :)))

everything hurts. how can i write like them...

i end up being an emo, just as i always am. it's true that writing is beautiful in so many unexplainable ways, and yet it hurts si much deeper, too. i felt like this world is too much for me that i can never back myself up when things go rough and messy; when i could no longer spell the words properly, or the thoughts entangled that they become chaotic—as i am. 
          
          this world was always been pretty on the inside. i've always wanted to be part of it, to draw strength and courage from it. writing has been inevitably my most valuable space. it not only help me show up, but it also become the strength to my bones. when things begin to fall apart and crumbled down in my face, i feels so scared and helpless. i feels so alone and lonely. i think i am not capable of saving myself, because when i fall apart, i fall hard. i fall unsaveable. the more i want to fall deeper with bruises all over me, so i won't have to move and get up. i'll just keep dying from there—in a pitch black holes.
          
          
          i am weak. vulnerable. and daily gotten into trouble with my own doubts and pains. it never changes. it's getting worse than today, and i felt like i am the most miserable to ever exist in this world of writing—because i couldn't be anyone that is loved, embraced, and celebrated. i wouldn't be, because i could not even celebrate a single, small win.
          
          
          i am sorry, i have always been in a chaotic shape of my life, and it's tiring to always show up. maybe, i need a long break—a permanent one. maybe, it's not a long, productive rest that i really am looking for. maybe, to pause at all is not enough.
          
          
          maybe, to stop completely is the right thing to do.
          
          
          i don't think i am able to survive this. masyado nang masakit. masyado nang mahirap. i am so done with this. i am so done with my heart.
          
          
          i am so done with my own heart.
          
          
          so, maybe, this is where the lines drop its voice. this is where the pen stops bleeding.
          
          
          this is where i am resting in peace.
          
          
          or maybe, not. 
          
          
          nevertheless, good bye. 

You did ittt. So proud of youuu.

i am crying :))) natapos ko :))

Nyayyy! Happy 1.05k readssss <3

'yong wakas ng touch of hearts, baka next month na ma-post :)) 

i am sorry to fail you again, hope. but maybe, really, this is the sign all along. to stop trying when it doesn't eork anymore.