Struggling with CT-PTSD flashbacks and triggers and I'm crying right now:
It's so hard when you used to love and care for someone so much for 4-years but the person continues to hurt you over and over until you couldn't take it anymore. When you finally realized that you can't help someone who is never going to change, it felt like dancing with the devil, and it felt like your coming down from drugs. It's hard to let him go, but all you could do is move on with your own life. It's so hard to go through it all alone struggling mentally, financially, and emotionally. After leaving the person, I felt like he ripped everything out of me internally for all those years and I feel lost inside. It's hard to sleep alone when someone used to be next to you. It's so hard trying not to think about it but the pain and emotional scars is stuck with you. I'm trying to get back on my feet and get through it alone. I had to force myself to eat and try sleep as possible. I'm trying to organize my finances, my health, and learning to love myself.
