brittanybub

@stuckinescalator thanks alot i won't edit this one but then next chapter i will and what's your email thank brit (: xx

therapical

Re: I think your story is great! I like how you portray how lonely she was by simply describing how she looked through the window seeing all other students having fun. You have a potential of describing things through words. And your use of vocabulary is perfect. However, repeating words like 'I thought to myself' can make the story confusing, when you describe things the least you could do is try to make them understandable, and I could help you with your grammar which I think you just need a little help. Overall, the story so far is very well put!
          
          If you want me to edit it, emailing would be easier rather than here. If you don't think so, it's fine :)
          
          ~stuck