you survived subsidizing every tiny drop of love you could find anywhere, and milking it, relishing it, for all it was worth. and as you grew up, you sought LOVE, anywhere you could fin it, whether it was a teacher or a coach, or a friend or a friend's parents. you sought those tiny droplets of love, basking in them when you doin them. they sustained you. for all those years, you've lived under the illusion that somehow, you made it because you were tough enough to overpower the abuse, the hatred, the hard knocks of life. but really you made it because love is so powerful that tiny little dieses of it are enough to overcome the pain of the worst things life can dish out. toughness was a faulty coping mechanism you devised to get by. but, it reality, it has been your ability to never give up, to keep seeking love, and your resourcefulness to make that love last long enough to sustain you. that is what has gotten you by.
