hiii.
im not dead (though it feels like that sometimes). i haven't been writing. i've been wanting to, but every time i open the app and pick a book, my inspiration and want dissipates dramatically. in all honesty, i am just tired.
this isn't a woe-is-me post. its more of an explanation for my absence. as some of you may know, i found out at the start of the year that i'm pregnant. i expected it to be a little bumpy, but this is my second so i figured i would have a handle on things. boy was i wrong.
apart from the usual pregnancy things (back pain, pelvic pain, constant dehydration, terrible morning sickness, et cetera), my family has decided to implode. i've lost my support system almost completely, but i have gained my fiancé's family in return. but we feel so alone. the person who promised to do my baby shower ghosted me. so, we're paying for that out of pocket now. we are also in the middle of wedding planning (october 10th, woot woot), and are now in the process of house hunting because we have officially grown out of our home.
i'm stressed. i'm in pain constantly. i can hardly sleep. it is so hot that i don't want to eat because all it does is make me sick. and my motivation for anything is at an all time low. i want to apologize profusely because i've been wanting to write something fierce, but i just can't force myself to do it. and, for that, i am so sorry. but we've got only ten weeks left until baby girl arrives and, hopefully, with that i can get back into the groove of things !