I was born in a small French village to a large family of brothers and sisters. After an enraged elderly woman chased us from our home with a shotgun, I sailed across raging waters to seek my fortune in Paris, where I found a job as head chef in a local restaurant. In a very short time, word of my culinary brilliance spread far and wide and I was able to secure the funding to open a restaurant of my own, which became so successful it allowed me to hire enough staff so I could spend my mornings in the city park. There, I learned how to play chess from the park's chess hustlers and was quickly playing well enough to earn the title of Grandmaster. Unfortunately, I soon grew bored with the game and instead set my sights on becoming a champion in the sport of head kicking. Though I also triumphed at that sport, I was forced to retire when I permanently dislocated my big toe during a particularly kicky match. Now I spend my days traveling the countryside with my giant robot best friend. Oh, and sometimes I write.