Hey darling, I’m really sorry you feel like this. I wish there was something I could say to make that go away, but it wouldn’t be fair to just assume words make it all better. Sometimes if you feel anxious, especially online, it’s best to force yourself to step away. As much as you want to be there, keep yourself off of public forums. It’s always best to step away from environments that feel are trapping you. I’m not sure what you feel is impossible, but I’d like to believe anything can be done if you try hard and enjoy it. Your efforts will pay off in the end. Please feel free to talk to me whenever you need ❤️