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I've struggled with body image issues most of my life because in my family I'm considered fat or whatever even if I am perfectly healthy and 'beautiful' and their opinions of me shouldn't mean jack, but they do and it hurts and I'm scarred

And for some twisted reason, I really like to fuck with people's minds

I mean, I've slowly been training myself to be a feminist, and to stand up for what I believe in, but I feel like I'm holding myself back because I'm afraid to be outside of my comfort zone

I mean, the longer I go on the more frustrated I become and the more I just want to give in and give up

Sorry for the eight months of radio silence, but I got a job and then was fired and tried to keep up with school, but my brain is just not in it anymore

It hit me that I have been assaulted by people I trusted, and I try to justify their actions by saying that we were young or whatever, but we were old enough to know it was wrong, but naive enough to think it wouldn't matter

I'm just dealing with too much and trying to find out how to handle...well, myself

So, it's been a while, and I'm still not back, but I'm up to give y'all who care a notification letting you know I'm still alive

Anxiety can kill

Down in the dumps, emotionally. And I don't know how to handle it.