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I've created a monster, 'cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more
They want Shady, I'm chopped liver (huh?)
Well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
Some vodka that'll jump-start my heart quicker
Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital
By the doctor when I'm not co-operating
When I'm rockin' the table while he's operating (hey!)
You waited this long, now stop debating
'Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job, Ms. Cheney
But your husband's heart problem's complicating
So the FCC won't let me be
Or let me be me, so let me see
They try to shut me down on MTV
But it feels so empty, without me
So, come on and dip, bum on your lips
Fuck that, cum on your lips, and some on your tits
And get ready, 'cause this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits; fuck you, Debbie!