~Ash~

i really really fucking miss you and it feels like it tearing me apart piece by piece not getting to talk to you

@insomniaccal ,
          my mum saw my wattpaad notification feed.. she looked through your message board. i just cant post on your board for a while. idk whats gonna happen cause my mum is ignoring everything pretty much. please dont respond to this cause shell see it but i had to let you know. i will be back so please dont give up on me sweetheart
          i love you more than ill ever get to explain <33333

OH SHIT TURBULENT TOO!!!!! I JUST SNUCK ON TWITTER AND I WOULDNT HAVE KNOWN OTHERWISE OH FUCK!! THIS IS LIKE THE BEST DAY EVER 5SOS AND PARX

EASIER COMES OUT AT 8 BUT I HAVE TO BE IN THE SHOWER BY 8 OR ELSE MY MUM WILL BE REALLY PISSED AND IDK IF ITS WORTH IT TO PROCRASTINATE TO WATCH THE VIDEO FIRST HHHHHHHHH ILL ONLY BE LIKE 30-40 MIN LATE SO PROBABLY SAFER TO JUST GET IN THE SHOWER... IM SAD

my mum dropped me off at the library and ill be here for quite a few more hours most likely. thats fine and all, i enjoy being away from her anyways. one problem is that literally have too much anxiety to get up and sharpen my pencil... this is ridiculous and im so mad at myself but i just am too scared to go sharpen a fucking pencil. see this is what isolating me from people does, thanks mum........

EASIER!!! TOMORROW!!!! AHHHHH!!!!

i stg anytime i listen to reputation my self-esteem suddenly boosts and i feel like kicking someones ass natasha romanoff style like holy shit

everyone keeps telling me to be present and focus on now
          i cant though
          why would i wanna focus on the present when all it does is cause me pain?
          the reason i keep going is that im hoping for a better future
          one where im safe, happy, comfortable
          the present is what worries me most
          what if i cant get through it?
          -
          just have to tough it out til the weekend, ill be safe at morgan's. well, i hope i will. i really dont want to see caleb again, hes apparantly matured a lot but im still scared hes going to try something again. hes the type of person who doesnt take no as an answer... i dont want to be manipulated again

iM SO DONE WITH THESE FUCKING CRICKETS I SWEAR IF I FIND ONE MORE IN MY ROOM IMMA YEET THE FUCKING CRICKET KEEPER OUT THE WINDOW AHHHHHH
          obviously i couldnt do that cause draco needs his food bUT STILL I WANNA PUNCH SOMETHING RN

someone tried to hit on me by responding to a comment i posted saying fluff in a book reminded me of dyl and i??? im confused and a little pissed off.. like wtf nooooooo