━━ 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞 !

kurt flinched, leaning back. his feelings for blaine had been authentic — admiration, affection, hero worship, care. he’d liked him, maybe even loved him a little. but kurt had always been in love with daniel. the sharp, painful love that tethered to you someone. “i meant everything i said to you, blaine,” kurt said softly. “but daniel . . . he’s always been my best friend. and it was always going to end this way.” kurt’s voice was certain. no matter how it played out, if he could have daniel, he wanted him. he wanted him anyway.

@blackestbirds ; "i thought i knew how you felt about / me /," blaine had the tendency to become snappy when he was really sad. "but apparently things can change." daniel had shown the smallest of interests in kurt, and blaine and kurt's relationship had broken into tiny pieces. he was worried they'd never be able to recover. he loved being kurt's friend, but there was something so special about being loved by kurt in a romantic sense. 

kurt hadn’t ever meant to hurt blaine. they were so close, it had almost felt like hurting himself, too. but he’d do it again, that was the thing. if it meant finally being with daniel, he’d hurt anyone. he prioritized daniel over anyone. over his own morals, it seemed. “i / know / that,” kurt said firmly. he leaned closer, ducking his head to meet blaine’s eyes. “i’m glad you’re around, blaine. but there isn’t . . . an /if/.” he hesitated. “you know how i feel about him.” 

kurt noticed blaine's expression and felt his flush deepen even more. he could only argue so much. hadn't he / also / suspected something after the kiss? "how much of that do you remember?" kurt asked, voice tight with mild panic.  "but-- come on. don't be a hypocrite. you made out with / rachel / and you're / gay. / what's the difference?" he sounded despairing to his own ears. suspicions aside, kurt knew daniel. he knew it wasn't like that, all the more so now.

@blackestbirds ; blaine looked at him in disbelief. there was no way daniel was / straight /. he was eating kurt's face. he was drunk, but he remembered that much. "oh!" his voice came out squeaky. "i didn't . . . realize. i thought . . . well . . . he was sober, you were sober, and . . ." he probably seemed like a pervert, observing that kiss. "well, it could've been a peck if he was . . . straight." 

kurt felt heat rush into the cheeks, blue eyes very focused and very still for several seconds. the thought of the kiss made his skin feel staticky — and made him feel some residual hurt, over their conversation in kurt’s car. he blinked innocently, tilting his head. “you mean /daniel/?” there was just enough shock in his voice. “of course it is. he’s a gold star heterosexual. why do you ask?” 

i would never lie to you , blaine . * her eyes are very earnest . *

( @lovelikefoolss )
            
            i don't think that's accurate . . . 

really ? huh . must've slipped my mind to . . . to mention it . . . we're , like , best friends again . but on the down - low . don't wanna risk another rick springfield song ! * she does finger guns . and nearly drops her phone . *

right . senior class president . . . underpaid intern . . . busy schedules . * his heart flutters just at the name , eyes brighter , though he presses his lips together with a gentle shrug . he was / intent / on acting unaffected about the whole . . . / whatever / it was with daniel . until either of them put a label on it , then romanticizing it would only cause pain later on . * well , daniel / was / just here a couple weeks ago for a . . . long weekend . * his cheeks are pink . * besides , you're / also / important to me , blaine .

( @blackestbirds ) 
            
            we've both been . . . busy . * with blaine's thirty clubs and kurt with vogue and nyada soon , it was evident that they wouldn't talk much . new york moved so much faster than lima . lima was so slow he had to join those thirty clubs and become senior class president just to make time go by faster . * i know i said not to speak about him , but i / am / kind of surprised your dad didn't ask daniel to be here . 

* he gives blaine's hand one last squeeze before pulling away , instead checking his phone , just for something to do with his hands . there was a text from daniel , and he shuts the phone off . thinking of daniel and blaine at the same time was still such a raging headache . he looks over , realizing it's been a beat too long since he's spoken . * i am , too . * his smile is small , distant . * i've missed you a lot . i feel like we haven't spoken at all .

you’re forgetting wes and david . * he clicks his tongue , a trace of humor in his smile . everything felt much simpler during his junior year . at dalton , with blaine , things made sense for the most part . now everything was much more unclear and foggy . * are you sure you want to initiate a conversation with sebastian about / me / ? willingly ?

( @blackestbirds ) 
            
            * he feels a tinge of guilt when kurt doesn't mention daniel , but it quickly goes away . he was allowed to be cruel toward daniel . he was cruel throughout their sophomore and junior years . even senior year . it was fine . . . / normal / , even . . . to hold a grudge . * . . . finn and alicia . nick and jeff . . . * he adds with a small chuckle . * point taken . well , i could talk to sebastian about your . . . continuous / issues / with him . 

* kurt was . . . hesitant . for the most part , they'd handled their issues . blaine moving out of the loft made kurt feel like he could inhale through his lungs again . but what did that say about him ? about their engagement ? he could only stand it when he didn't look in square in the face . which meant he tried / not / to look at it , to think about it , to pick a specific date in june because that was / too much / right now . he tilts his head , hoping his stare was not too vacant . * sebastian has severe issues with pride . and most things . but see ? just look at you and sebastian , britt and santana , rachel and jules , finn and noah , me and . . . * he blinks a beat too long . * elliott .

@blackestbirds ; i think it'd be really awkward if he did . 

it was an experience . at the very least , i am / sure / finn will not serenade you . so that's progress !

@blackestbirds ; oh . . . i think i've heard about that . must've been horrible to / actually / be there . 

fantastic. so fill him with horse tranqs and disposing of him in the bermuda triangle.

@motherIoving ; i think sue sylvester has horse tranquilizer actually . 

you’re right, i can handle this without. i can take karofsky. just need a strong horse sedative.

@lovelikefoolss ; you're much stranger than i am . 

you're not much better . isn't that why we're friends ?

@lovelikefoolss ; * he raises a brow . * you're so strange . 

sounds like you're nitpicking because / you're / afraid . but i'm tired of talking about work . how's . . . * he visibly hesitates , struggling to mask his features . * . . . david ?

@blackestbirds ; with sue sylvester as principal , i think that's gonna be / really / hard . 

it shouldn't take long . / you / may have daniel , but we have . . . everyone else , aside from mr . schue and alicia . we're a pretty reliable team of recruiters .

you are so many things to me , blaine . * he smiles softly , gaze lingering , before abruptly snapping away . * and if things go astray with . . . sam , at least i'll have you around .

@blackestbirds ; not here , that's for sure . * he smiles brightly . * which is why i am / so / glad i am so generous / and / your hero . 

you are a / lifesaver / , blaine . * he nods seriously , squeezing blaine's shoulder . his fingers linger a beat too long . * where would i be without your limitless generosity ?