mscarnivalofcarnage
knock knock
carrotcakewithblood
carrotcakewithblood
Update. I in fact may have BPD. I thought I did not but I had a conversation about it with someone and now it is actually so obvious. How did I not realize this
carrotcakewithblood
@Azf0023 LMAOOOO I mean you quite literally could've posted your own thing rather than nuking my vent post but hello! I've not been on here since September apparently but happy new year etc etc
carrotcakewithblood
One of my besties (the girl who's also my ex) told me today at our hangout that before she knew I had DID she wondered if I perhaps had BPD due to my at times fickle behavior which to me is extremely funny. Me at 15 was not as consistent in emotions as I at the time thought I was
carrotcakewithblood
Was fearing for my life when I got a notification on here that I’d somehow said something improper again. Was an ad
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Growing up I stopped caring about love triangles being cliché entireeelyyyyy. Also because I don't consume a lot of romance but honestly? She has massive game and everybody wants to do her? Good for her!!!!!
carrotcakewithblood
Ruination distraction and ruination imminent threat that will strike you out of nowhere. I like love triangles they just need to be evil
carrotcakewithblood
Haven't seen the Interview With The Vampire TV show yet but I believe this is also just Louis' relationships actually
carrotcakewithblood
On that note I also realized how much I used to mask when I was young in ways I hadn’t even realized. I always wondered why some of my stories/projects sucked so much and lost so much of my usual whimsy (however poorly executed at the time) and then realized those were all stories I wrote with others. I even explicitly remember feeling like I had to match their creativity/ideas/style, even in CREATIVE PROJECTS, otherwise it wouldn’t be “fair to others” (if I outshone them) and they might feel bad about themselves. And then that made me realize just how much I must have been doing that in my interactions outside of creating too. I watered myself down so much to fit in. I didn’t allow myself to show I was good at something because I realized it made me not fit in anymore. I knew who I was when alone but around others I felt like I was practically nobody, because I would’ve been too much had I really existed, and I couldn’t find a replacement identity
carrotcakewithblood
I was talking about Game Of Thrones with my mother and mentioned that Joffrey is essentially what my elementary to middle school bullies were like and as I said it I was like Wait. Wait but they literally were
carrotcakewithblood
For some reason I used to lie and say it was mostly girls that used to bully me but that’s literally just not true. It was pretty much only boys. I just meant to separate at the time with how boys are bullied by other boys and for some reason felt people wouldn’t understand if I hadn’t been bullied by girls. Like surely I had beef with some girls but the full on bullying/stalking/ruining my belongings/trying to touch me was all from boys.
carrotcakewithblood
Ok I’m okay again I spoke to my mom
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I feel so ugly I don’t wanna be hereeeee
carrotcakewithblood
I WAS BANNED LMAOOOO