Ah, of course I can check out ya story! And I'm not too good at giving advice but I suppose dialogue is important. You can describe a lot but it seems readers are usually entranced by a somewhat fast-pace and exciting scene with dialogue. But describing exactly what happens helps the reader envisage the scenes c: Hopefully that was somewhat helpful. I look forward to readig what you have and I'm sure it's great! Thank you for reading my stories and I'm glad you enjoy hehe.