I'm here for the one percent... of Wattpad authors that don't suck.  Ass-kissing time is over, people. Let's do some real writing. Take back Wattpad, for talent!

Here's some things that make me human, or not. Plus, I'm bored and enjoy making lists of things I like. Who doesn't?

Influences:
H.P. Lovecraft, Arthur Machen, Clark Ashton Smith, Philip K. Dick, Henry James, Bram Stoker, Ramsey Campbell, Isaac Asimov, William Shakespeare,  Ernest Hemingway, like, I'm an English major, so...

Quotes:
"Far and away and the best prize in life is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." - Theodore Roosevelt

"I came, I saw, I conquered." - Julius Caesar

"Where are all the white women at?"- Blazing Saddles

"If he sees Catherine as a person rather than an object, it's harder to tear her up." - Silence of the Lambs

Favorite Foods:
1. Hot sopresseta
2. Italian sausage
3. Mussels (but only in Boston's North End)
4. Lobster (but only in Maine)
5. Gulf shrimp (in Florida, of course)
6. Hamachi sushi rolls
7. Caviar
8. Those hunter sausage sticks that they sell at gas stations

Favorite vices:
1. Alcohol
2. Energy drinks
3. Cigarettes
4. Cigars
5. Porn
6. Spending money

Reasons you should follow me and read my writing:
1. You've made it this far
2. Because I told you

Read my stories, fuckers. I'll return the favor.