whore ᓚᘏᗢ

crawling out of my ass to post this but happy new year fuckers

people complaining about vampire-human relationships being predatory bc of the age gap is honestly hilarious.
          
          it's a damn vampire ofc it's predatory lol

germany please ditch the protestant work ethic. go back to being celtic and not christiaj please

in the bus on the way to work at 5:30am and this bus is nearly full. absurd

walking on grass at ass o'clock and looking out for slugs so I don't step on them only to then have the fright of my life bc I stepped on a mouse instead and didn't expect the feeling of tiny little scratchers and fur on my foot is a little too on the nose for Things That Would Just Happen To Me. 
          
          I didn't get bit and the mouse just bolted and I guess I did not step on a slug, but I did yell loudly at 2am on this camping site and dad is now confused as to why this kind of shit keeps happening to me. Your guess is as good as mine bud

fourth of July and not a firework to be heard. Guess mr Trump 2020 cap village geezer couldn't get his slimey hands on fireworks :3 hope his evening sucked

the French word for bird is ridiculous

guess who's officially 21

"women and enbies who I can stamp off as women"

it's honestly kind of hilarious to me that if my mother had been born just a year earlier she would be a boomer.