my brain had a wedgie

going back to my roots and reading larry internalized homophobia fanfic so i can take notes for my jayvik fanfic

can't believe i'm logging back onto wattpad of all places after all these months but i genuinely have no one else to say this to. i feel like i'm suffocating in my own home and in my own body and under the weight of my pain and my mind and thoughts there's like a pit in my chest and it just. hurts. and i just feel hollowed out and so emotional at the same time and like have zero energy for. well. anything. and that includes talking to my friends (i don't rlly have any irl ones anymore bc i started homeschool bc physical health we only talk occasionally abt college applications) so i genuinely highkirkuinely think i lost a friendship this past week and got into an argument w my mom (tho that's unrelated) and ugh. there's so much more going on but i can't even put into words and. just ugh. okay guys bye now

people saying they're moving out of new york bc mamdani won...that's js more space for me har har by all means, please do.

sending the oned fandom tons of love <3
          i hope you're resting easy, liam.

Hi wife I didn’t know you were posting again but since I’m here I offer you a big steamy hot make out session 

i started my igcse with wanting to be a neuroscientist and big dreams to help in the research to cure alzheimer's. at the end of my a-levels, i've resorted to pursuing psychology with a business minor & working in HR. idk why but i genuinely want to cry.

if anyone were to kiss me while i'm crying they'd get a mouthful of snot

no i do not fucking want to know that some fucking bitch is fucking liking my fucking comments shut the fuck up all the way to hell oh my fuck. 
          
          on the other hand, it's a nice reminder of how funny i am. or used to be idk

i've entirely migrated to ao3 for fics now but i seriously miss the comments of wattpad sm. like it js adds to the experience and makes the fic sm more memorable. comments on ao3 range from 50 page analyses on the chapter or thanking the author which like. it's all well and good. but nothing tops the comments going "you're tight" every time someone said 'fuck' in a larry fic or the most heinous emoji combos or live reactions to the plot. could just as well read my fav larry fic  (soft hands fast feet can't lose)  on ao3 but i'll ALWAYS come back here bc comments were js such a big part of the reading experience.

haiii