First of all i wanted to get it out there that I'm probably a completedly biased critic because I usually despise diaries. But this one was surprisingly good. Umm the only thing is to make sure you use different sentence varieties. (I really shouldn't be talking) but you did use a lot of compound sentences and suboordinating conjunctions which can make it sound choppy. Trust me my teacher through my essay in my face because of that. ... But its good (*^_^*)