choerrylvr

I literally got shadow banned bc the last chapter I posted two weeks ago is too gory, lmao

life's falling apart rn so I'm probably going to start posting more chapters, because my own misery inspires me lmao

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNeK5vKMw/
          
          This is literally Bill's mentality in BiS once he stops viewing her as just prey. 
          
          To explain a bit, I've mentioned in one of the chapters that Bill kept portraits of all the lovers he'd had as a vampire, with representative flowers for each one of them. In Bill's view, he values and respects women immensely, and treats them highly and reverently, almost in a worshipping manner. 
          
          To him, adoring a woman is the equivalent of being human again, it awakens a sense of humanity in him, the inner need to cherish and protect, and that's why he barely ever touched Rachel, barely kissed her, or almost never bit her, because he was trying to maintain her chastity, her light, her purity, not wanting to completely taint something that was meant to be kept intact.
          
          His level of respect for her is just THAT high. But at the same time, it was never about Rachel herself. She was a mere vessel, an idealization of what a woman should be or what he searched for in one; he associates women with light and purity. But what he TRULY seeks for is still God. When he's searching for the light in those women, he's actually looking for God, something of semblance that would momentarily fill the void of what he'd lost along with his soul.
          
          The thing is, he never had any intention of committing to a lover ever in his life before, because he only wanted to observe and admire the lover, then let her leave in peace (painless death, maybe). But now, because of Tom's absolutely twisted mind, he's basically stuck with Rachel, which is mortifying to him.

Guys, I don't care that it's winter, I'm working on Hot Summer again !!

I'm so glad Rachel's dead, I hated that hoe (unfortunately she'll still remain in the book). Anyways, look at this BiS coded tiktok, guys!
          
          https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNeKYK6JJ/

Guys, we're officially halfway through the story, I just finished the 3rd part of the 30th chapter!!

Found some 12 year olds reading my story, idk how to feel about that piece of information...

It's baffling to me how on the Bill Kaulitz tag on wattpad, most of the stories that are trending are mainly about Tom. How the hell does that happen, how does one get outshined on his own tag?

Nosferatu 2024 made me realize I should have made Blood in Snow so much gorier, scarier, freakier, more sinister, and much more gothic... I'm disappointed in myself, gotta rewrite the first half ASAP.

Thank you so much for the follow:)