chromeshell018

Merry Christmas everyone :) i hope to read so many awesomeness this year too.

hpselenawrites

Hey!
          I was wondering if you could check out My book(not a compulsion though).
          It would really mean a lot.
          https://my.w.tt/Q6AtqMVUWK
          VOTE. COMMENT. SHARE. FOLLOW.
          If you like it.
          Thanks Xoxo

chromeshell018

@hpselenawrites goodluck
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hpselenawrites

@chromeshell018 thanks for checking it out. I'm exploring my writing too. Also they are not yet edited.
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chromeshell018

@hpselenawrites hey! So i read your story. It was interesting. I think the story plot line is good. But the build up is a little too fast, i think. Just my opinion though. Also, there are some grammatical errors but those can be ignored as the sentences' thoughts are understandable. There are many other stories that have more grammatical errors. I didn't find anything that is much of a problem with the story though. There are just things that i'd like for the story to have more of:
             1) slower build up
             2) a deeper and a bit 'darker' or depressing feeling for those parts where the characters talk about their situations and/or past to add more feeling to the 'episode' they are experience and the chapter altogether.
             3) just watch out more for those minor grammatical errors (although this can be ignored anyways because as i said, they are understandable nonetheless)
            
            These are just MY thoughts on your story and i'm just one person and totally not an expert on this so you can just ignore what i said if you want. 
            
            Thanks again for the honor of being one of people you asked to check out your story
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