muffin

so i officially met my best friend five years ago today… i can’t even imagine how different my life would be if i hadn’t decided to not hate him (long story) but i’m so grateful that we decided to give it a go because i’m so grateful that i’ve been able to spend the past five years of my life with an amazing human being like him

*honor
          
          i’m sorry that there are so many typos in my message. my heart goes out to all of you. 

wasn’t fair*

rip technoblade. you were a man we could look up to. your videos always put a smile on my face. i’m sorry you were in such pain, and i wish there was a way we could’ve helped you the way you helped us. it was fair that it was you, but i hope that your pain is eased now. i know you’ll be looking down at us to watch all the amazing things we do, and you’ll cheer on all of your friends as they do amazing things in your on. you are an inspiration to all, and i hope you know your legacy will live on forever in your content and your fans. good game. 

and i just try and distract myself by overworking but like it just burns me out and it just doesn’t work 
          and i can’t even talk about it with anyone because i don’t have anyone as my person
          and so now i just anonymously complain about my dumpster fire life on the internet and no one even reads it anyways 

i just feel so lonely because it’s like everybody had a person and then i just like don’t
          and it just makes me feel sad because like my sister and her best friend hang out together every day and they have fun and then i’m sitting there pretending like i don’t feel left out
          i don’t have anyone texting me saying they were thinking about me ever
          i only ever get notifications if initiate it and i just wish someone cared about me the way i care about them
          is that so much to ask for?

how come nick nelson gets to research bisexual like twice and just know his sexuality 

i hope for my birthday my friends kidnap me and take me somewhere because i’m not planning anything for myself 

i think i had a mini panic attack today at a school banquet in front of a bunch of people and like my teacher asked me if i was ok and my filter was off and i said no and a senior got like really concerned and gave me a hug but like i literally couldn’t breathe and then i left so that was cute 

i hate putting makeup on for dance. i look like a fucking clown.