cliffadorable

how ironic is it that Michael is my fave and he is the only one I'm not writing a fic about...

cliffadorable

“Listen far more than you write. If you hear a poem you like, talk to the poet about it. Don’t be afraid to ask poets about their work. They want that, most likely. Study poems. Study devices. Keep listening until you find your voice, and when you do, don’t sacrifice it for anything. Don’t write for scores. Don’t write for attention. It’s easy when you love your work more than the rewards your work may bring. Also, hug early. Learn to love hugs. You’ll never make it out of this scene alive if you can’t hug.”
          
          — 	Hanif Abdurraqib giving advice to young writers

chronicsoIitude

hey :----)
          
          
          hi. although we haven't actually talked; or i didn't know you personally i just want to say that you're an amazing person. i've read your books and i love your writing. we all care about you. :--)  i've felt the feelings you had so please just be strong. we'd all be devastated to lose a person like you. i hope it doesn't happen. please be strong and hold on to something that makes you feel you again. i love you. you can always talk to me!!!

cliffadorable

I've come to the point now where I honestly don't care and I just wanna tell you the truth about what I'm thinking right now because why would I lie to you? 
            I am almost 99.99% certain you have never read any of my books you probably saw I felt down and wanted to write on my mb because you see yourself in me but you know what I can't stand you talking about how we would all be devastated who is fucking 'we' as you've said you don't know me you would not have been devastated had I not posted that message and just killed myself (which I am not going to do but hypothetically) you wouldn't even have bothered with my death (why would you though?) you don't love me you don't even like me you're reading this and thinking: "wow what a bitch I was just trying to help" but newsflash you're not helping by lying to me you just made me even more sad and frustrated right now and don't you even dare apologise because it's not even your fault and what you did was a nice thing but honestly I'm too bitter for this
• Reply

papercars

let me just say
          
          i love u. you are phenomenal writer and a good and kind person. there are people who care about you whether you realize it or not. /I/ care about you. you matter so much and you should know that your ability to write is truly a gift and if you left this earth and no one would be able to experience the words that come from your mind and the amazing stories you tell then /i/ would care and /i/ would be so upset. 
          
          if u are depressed u have to come to terms with it. people are sad and u can not become happy by ignoring that fact. u have to tell ur mom, u have to face ur sadness. u deserve to be happy and u deserve to feel loved
          
          just know, I LOVE YOU AND SO DO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WE CARE ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE CARED FOR YOU. YOU ARE A HUMAN AND YOU ARE APART OF AN ENTIRE RACE. YOU CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING JUST BY BEING HERE. IF YOU WEREN'T HERE, SOMETHING WOULD FEEL DIFFERENT, CERTAIN CONVERSATIONS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN, THE SMILES AND LAUGHS YOU SHARED WITH PEOPLE WOULD BE GONE, AND SOMEONE'S HEART WOULD FEEL EMPTIER WITHOUT THE THOUGHT OF YOU IN IT.

cliffadorable

I'm not going to kill myself and I promise I'm not depressed I just get sad sometimes and I just need hugs sometimes which I don't get this only shows how you don't know me in real life and that's okay too don't worry but if you did you'd know that I'm not someone who leaves holes in people's hearts and I'm far from someone loveable I can't really explain it but I'm just kinda there and don't go telling me that's not true because I know it is 
            I'm an option and that's okay too it just gets hard sometimes because you know everyone wants someone who initiates conversations with them and wants people to smile at them on the street and not continuously having to be that friend-ish person I don't think I'm explaining this the way I want to
            as far as my writing goes that's the only part of me that seems not to be a coward and actually did commit suicide tbh :)
• Reply

porcelouis

hello, darling. I want you to know that you matter so much. That your air and your words and your rambling thoughts all mean the world to someone. That even if you don't cry it doesn't mean you can't, even if you feel like screaming it doesn't mean you're weak.
          
          I don't know you. I've never talked to you or read anything you've written besides this message but I am still here to tell you that you are a supernova burning in the stars and if universes were made for people you'd have eight just for you. You're a roaring flame and a brush of skin on skin and you matter, you do.

cliffadorable

I'm sorry for my late reply I think I just had t gather my thoughts I'm not usually like that I try to be happy I really do and I keep my mouth shut and smiling usually I'm not going to commit suicide that much is certain I'm too much of a coward to do that thank you for caring though
• Reply

porcelouis

@cliffadorable
• Reply

inlondontoday

i would too, and i definitely would not turn down a pizza date with michael. that's a hard question. 
          thanks, though i haven't won yet! i'm in the drawing though, and there's probably going to be about sixty people in the drawing! :)