I'm losing confidence...
I am clearly losing every ounce of confidence left in me and it's sad that I couldn't run or talk to anyone about this without telling me to chill and relax.
I am saddened by the fact that I could never be as chill and as relaxed as them. Because this is what I wanted to do so bad.
I have no one with me. I could not feel anyone behind me, most specially, when I am feeling burnout.
I love what I do, but I sometimes hate it because it reminded me the feeling of being alone... in fighting this stigma alone.
I wanted them to be proud of me, but how can I do that when I am hating the the things I know I'd risk my life to do for the rest of my life?
I've been caring about other people a lot... that I forgot I still have to worry about myself... about how I am losing myself every time I chooses them over me.
Just in case, I could no longer write, I will only blame myself.
I am the first person I should hate, because I could not do anything about it.
I am sorry for another unnecessary announcement to everyone.